March 30, 2006

The Mom Diet

My mom was on a perpetual diet her entire life. Her weight would bob around like a seal in a riptide, but ultimately stay the same. Higher than she wanted.

She used to warn me it was our fault, the kids. She said her wartime mentality forced her to eat stuff we didn't, and if I wanted to retain my girlish figure after having kids, I should leave the leavings alone. I try hard to take this advice, which is sometimes relatively easy. I had my first mouthful of Kraft Dinner after Marc wanted it as a three year old, and I almost barfed.

It's tough to leave half a grilled cheese sandwich on the plate. Especially the square half, which everyone knows is better. I leave the kid's fries alone if we're out, because I can still hear my mom ordering a salad, then polishing off two plates of kiddie fries. Which of course wouldn't count, because she didn't order them.

As I type this, I'm eating Christmas Rice Krispies, because no one else will. And two past-date yogurts, because the boys think they'll die if it's a day late. Nobody stops me.

I, apparently, am expendable.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can you not like Kraft Dinner and call yourself a Canadian?! I suppose you're going to tell us you don't like hockey either!

March 30, 2006 10:23 PM  

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