May 26, 2006

Poor Jessica

Poor, poor Jessica Simpson. Since divorcing her husband Captain Blando (Nick Lachey), she's very sad. We know this because now all the pictures we see of her show her looking very, very sad. And lonely. It would seem all that stuff about marrying in haste and repenting in leisure is spot on. And it also seems to make you too distracted to do your shirt up.

When my little sister and I were younger, we shared a wardrobe. Two teenage girls two years apart in age do things like that. The trouble appeared though, when we both moved out of the house. It seems we hadn't really noticed that I owned all the bottoms, and she owned all the tops.

I think something similar has happened to Nick and Jessica. When they moved apart, they discovered that she had the right side of the brain, and he had the left. And now the two of them are at a loss to understand why they can no longer function. They no longer have anyone to finish their admittedly short sentences, or comprehend their even shorter thoughts.

The biggest problem for the rest of us is that neither one got custody of any singing talent.


Blogger Rainypete said...

Yet another act in the freaksow that is stardom plays out. What amazes me is that with no talent and the right "bad" press you can own the world these days. As for the brains I am impressed that they possess half a brain each, now if the two halves hadn't hooked up and run out on the two of them they may have gotten farther along.

May 26, 2006 12:49 PM  
Blogger blog-gal said...

As for the sad Jessica picture, maybe she forgot the instructions for gum. You know, chew, don't chew, chew...

May 28, 2006 2:09 PM  

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