July 5, 2006

Days of Wine and Flies

I was prepared for SARS. I'm totally up to date on the Avian Flu. I know more about ebola, bubonic plague and malaria than anyone I know.

So, what is besieging me? Fruitflies. I am losing my mind, and it appears my sanity is being carried off by miniscule little suckers that apparently reproduce on the fly. So to speak.

As I write this, I have a little jar on the counter covered with plastic wrap. There is a nasty little piece of banana in it, lying in wait. After scouring the Internet, this was the solution that I had all the parts to make. It is not working.

As is perhaps fitting, the only things my fruitflies like is wine. And they don't want the icky leftover wine I put out for them - they want the wine I am drinking. This reminds me of a game we used to play at the cottage. It was called What's The Biggest Thing You Can Fish Out Of Your Drink And Still Drink It?

At home, it is now fruitflies. At the cottage, it's mosquitos. That haven't bit anyone yet.

Actually, the biggest thing I have pulled out of my wine and still managed to drink it was my sister, but that's another story.

I have taken to putting out a decoy glass for the flies, which of course has prompted my son Jackson to ask why I'm drinking two glasses of wine at once. There isn't a believable answer to that, so I won't bother.

If you have any tips on fruit flies, please send them my way. Until then, I'm drinking a very nice Soave out of a sippy cup.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Lorraine,

Great website! I followed a link from your article in today's Spec ("The world is different from inside my car").

The trick is to take paper and make a funnel with a narrow opening at the bottom. Tape that to the rim of your cup after putting fruit inside (I find strawberries work the best).

That way, the fruit flies can get in easily but cannot escape.

Ryan McGreal

July 06, 2006 12:46 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Thanks, Ryan!
I have three little funnels going and I used wine. Little critters might as well go happy...

July 06, 2006 2:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just keep the wine in the bottle. When you feel the need for a sip, tip the bottle to your lips and have some. When you're satisfied, take it away from your lips, hold it in your hand and place your index finger in the neck. Flies can't get in. I guess it's not the most delicate way to drink wine, but there's nothing to clean up, (except your finger), and no need for a toothpick. Try it sometime. Print the photos for us please.

July 13, 2006 12:48 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

It's not enough I lay bare my ridiculous problems - now you buggers want photos?!

July 13, 2006 12:52 PM  

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