July 27, 2006


One Ringy-Dingy

I had a note from a reader recently asking me what I thought about cell phones. Specifically, people using them in public. I told her when I have a chance, I'll link her to a couple previous columns trumpeting my revulsion loud and clear. After gently reminding her that I had written about them...stay with me here, people. Sometimes even I don't want to read my stuff twice a week, but still...

This case has been in the news recently. You may have come across it - a woman somehow ends up swallowing her cell phone. She says her boyfriend crammed it down her throat. He says she swallowed it on purpose.

First, if he did that, I can only sympathise. How many times I've wanted to cram a phone down someone's throat (or up somewhere else). Sitting in a Swiss Chalet last night, some little chick on a date has her cell phone go off. Get real. You're already there with some poor sucker, you can't wait until later to betray every intimate detail to your friends?

Back to our story. The guy says his girlfriend swallowed the phone on purpose, so he couldn't see who she was talking to. There's a bunch of things that are tough to swallow, and a phone has to be one of them. Can you imagine if it rang? Can you imagine if she had one of those stupid musical rings on it? Did she send a text message every time she coughed?

A ER doctor had to remove it. Nobody believes anybody else. Seems this is a sign of the apocolypse if there ever was one.

These two deserve each other.

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