September 15, 2006


Goin' To The Moon, Alice

Why do celebrities want to go to the moon? The latest one turned down is Madonna, and while quite frankly I wouldn't have missed her, I just don't understand the compulsion.

A year or so ago it was some boy-band guy. I would have flown him there myself if it rid the planet of one more lightly-mustachioed talentless song stylist gazing into a video camera while filled with manufactured angst.

Maybe Madonna just figures there is no place that she hasn't established her fabulousness except the moon. Maybe these people really do decide that they have to go all the way to the moon to find anything special. They've done it all, seen it all, bought it all, slept with it all.

Why the moon? I have gone days without leaving my house, and I'm quite happy with that. What would you pack? Do the flight restrictions apply? Does your family have to call a 1-800 number to see if your flight has been delayed?

It just seems like so much work for someone who is basically going to be in the way when they get there. Astronauts are scientists. Madonna is not a scientist. Boy Band is not a scientist. I don't think either one even passed science, frankly. They have no business making something serious look like a photo-op.

Maybe all these Moon Doggies just missed the memo: If you need publicity, you just date Jessica Simpson.

All the cool kids are doing it.

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