October 11, 2006

Super Ova

I love when I read scientific studies telling me how my body works. Or rather, should be working, in relation to everyone else on the planet. I love especially when lab rats start making predictions about women. Heh.

This study maintains that women dress sexy when they're ovulating. This would seem reasonable - nature would indicate that when we're most likely to be knock-upable, we should be using the best bait.

Though their study seemed to be centered on university women, and the biggest difference seemed to be sweat pants/no sweat pants, they could still tell that the females were definitely adorning themselves differently, with jewellery etc, during specific times of their cycle.

There is only one thing I do with any kind of certainty when I'm ovulating. I eat anything that isn't nailed down to the table. I am like a bear the week before it heads into hibernation. Forgive me, but this is probably not the obvious time to be playing with skinny jeans. And why would I be carrying a cute new purse, when all I really want to carry around is a cooler?

I have a couple of problems with this. The first is obvious: How do you quantify 'sexy'? I mean, is it like a Pam Anderson-sex buffet thing? Or classy-sexy, like Audrey Hepburn? I'm mastered neither of those styles, but still managed to pop out a couple of kids.

My other problem is one they could have solved just by asking any group of women. Forget measuring hormones. Women dress their sexiest when there's the chance they may bump into their ex.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm, if I remember correctly (highshool biology was many, many years ago)ovulation happens approximately 11 to 14 days following the onset of a woman's last period.

Also, if I remember correctly, we women consume about 100lbs. of chocolate 1 to 2 days BEFORE our periods are due.

Don't these "researchers" realize that we women CHOOSE not to adorn ourselves in attention getting outfits (or jewellery) until our complexions have cleared up?! I believe this process takes about 11 to 14 days. Coincidence, I think not!

This leads me to the conclusion that the team of researchers was made up entirely of men. (Women would know better!)

Come on guys, even if you've never had the pleasure of our company a day or two before our periods, shouldn't the skid of chocolate we are unloading into our trunks at the grocery store parking lot tip you off?!

Oh well, maybe someone will do a study on male inattentiveness.

(Love your column, Lorraine, always a bright spot in my day!)


October 11, 2006 3:27 PM  

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