February 4, 2007

It Doesn't Start Until WHEN?

So you remember your first time? Was it a long time in the planning, or maybe just something that happened out of the blue? Was there food and drink involved? Did you already know the rules of the game, or was it just a lot of fumbling?

Did you get pictures?

I'm going to my first Super Bowl party today. I don't do football. The only sport I have any knowledge of is hockey, and that's only because when I was 16 the boy I dated was engaged to the Boston Bruins. Would have been a lot of lonely Saturday nights if I didn't figure out hockey.

I find football slow and confusing. So much ado about nothing, and those rabid American fans really, really need to be delivered a clue about football's place in the heirarchy of Things That Really Matter. I watch movies about American high school football teams where everything comes down to one game, one throw, one catch. And if they blow it (they usually don't, in the movies anyway), their entire ticket out of working in the mines or something is lost.

I'm looking forward to today. John and Arlene are wonderful friends who have agreed to host the party, more for the boys than anything. John is a former CFLer who is a fount of information for the boys, who are both crazy about football. Arlene will have lots of wine for the girls.

I have read the sports section, and will refrain from my usual faux pas - asking how many periods there are, talking about goals, and wondering aloud why the scoring is as screwed up as tennis.

Everyone's first time should be as memorable.


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