March 20, 2007

Just The Girls Now

I love Rosie DiManno almost as much as I hate Conrad Black. When I saw she was covering his trial, I had a secret little twist of pleasure in my gut, because I knew she'd go flat-out nasty on his wife, Barbara Amiel. When Rosie doesn't like a woman, she doesn't like them with all the words in her considerable arsenal. See: Homoka, Karla, and Stronach, Belinda, to name but two in recent memory. You can get all woman-hater on her, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes the lads just miss the subtleties, and I'm thankful to have a pro there to pick up the nuances for me.

Ever since the Blacks graced an issue of Vanity Fair, my once favourite magazine that is now in a race to dumb itself down to pretty paperweight, I have been appalled by Amiel. Black has always been a first-class third-rate sack of self-importance. I absolutely adore reading his words, if only because I have never seen anyone cram so many big-ass words into one sentence while simultaneously patting himself on the back for doing it. I swear he must type in front of a mirror. Watching him and his wife adore each other has always just left me thinking sometimes the right people do find each other. The Vanity Fair photo that made me gag featured her sitting at his feet like a supplicant beagle. Though I don't think any self-respecting beagle simpers.

Anyway, when I saw Rosie's piece yesterday, I knew there would be a little bitchin' in the air. And there was. And thankfully, she asked the same catty question I've been wondering - what the hell did Amiel do to her face? Don't get me wrong - she's a beautiful woman. Truly. But now, check out this photo. She's gone all Riddler on us.

Why do rich women do this? Why do pretty women do this? Remember Priscilla Presley? Maybe it's just the pressure of being married to a king or something.

So, I was feeling kind of trashy for taking low pokes at Amiel's appearance. After all, it's not her on trial, and even if it were, it's not about how you look. It's about how you spend. Imagine my deliver-me-from-evil joy at Jennifer Wells' piece today - Amiel, on day two of the trial (expected to last four months) has already let her sabre tongue out of her mouth and has been caught out calling the press mean names. 'Vermin' and 'slut'. Her only job is to dress restrained, look supportive and shut her yap. Apparently there is just too much Valkyrie in her for that. And the press thank her for it.

As for the woman who once famously said that her 'extravagance knows no bounds', it appears her plastic surgeon too, has a problem with limits.


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