April 19, 2007


Baseballs & Other Projectiles

Toronto is now mulling over banning trans fats in restaurants, much like the ban introduced by New York City beginning July 1st of this year.

While I despair of the fact that people are too stupid to figure out on their own that if you eat mass amounts of garbage, the result won't be pretty, I'm also teetering on the line of accepting that people are, well, just that stupid. I can't believe the legacy of poor health being handed to our children, and the absolute capitulation of responsibility with which most people bestow that legacy. French fries are not vegetables, folks.

Many great restaurants are freaking out; there are certain things, most notably desserts, than can't be made with substitutes for butter and like substances. It seems in an effort to make the bottom feeders smarten up, the net is catching everything else as well.

Now, I'm not sure if it's the year-round lazy-arse sunshine on the Left Coast that has presented this little marketing gem, but in Los Angeles, the Dodgers have introduced a new idea: All You Can Eat cheap seats. That's right - while we wrestle with reinventing one of the world's biggest wheels, a baseball club is encouraging people to eat their weight in hotdogs and nachos to get their money's worth.

Neal Pollack, writing for Slate, put it to the test. You have to read this piece, if only to remind yourself never, ever to take someone up on a offer like this. I'm pretty much grossed out by the buffet places my teenaged son and his football playing buddies prefer, but this Dodger Disgrace takes the cake. And everything else.

Any time I think I can't further underestimate the intelligence of some of my fellow human beings, something like this rears it's ugly head and gives me a smack. In a hand basket, everyone. We're going in a hand basket....

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