May 26, 2007

Border Patrol

When I lie in bed at night, head exploding from the constant pain of yet another migraine (man, this week has been horrendous for the suffering, no?), this is the kind of thing I contemplate. Who guards the U.S.-Canada border through all the wide open prairies and forests out west?

A retired couple in northern Seattle just found out the hard way. They put up a 4 foot concrete wall to keep their little dogs corralled, and discovered laws, regardless of how obscure and dated, do exist. They live in a yard where you can stick your foot over your property and be in Canada. Only, you're not allowed to do that. I always wondered about that.

I've long imagined that cross-country neighbours must surely have some sort of system for handing off cheap vodka and stuff. I mean, how tough can it be to do a sort of 'hey, neighbour, here's a twenty, bring me back a case of Absolut, would ya?'. Are they allowed to have BBQs and and yard parties? Can their kids play together? If your kid tosses the football too far, are they allowed to throw it back? Or do they have to drive to a proper border crossing every time?

What if you're hiking in some godforsaken forest in British Columbia, and stumble over the border? Is there some big electric killing fence like in Lost? (If you don't watch Lost, well, don't worry about it. You can figure it out.)

I'm sure the Americans have invested a lot of resources in their southern border, because everyone knows (if only from the movies) that the Mexicans are dying to become Americans. But the U.S - Canada thing? Not so much. It's mostly a big shrug, unless of course you're an American running from your unit that's just been assigned to further patch up W.'s ego in Iraq.

For now, Shirley-Ann and Herbert have to bide their time staring out their picture window at the fabulous Canadian view, their little dogs secured in cages, while the authorities decide who is going to haul down their little concrete fence that has apparently given a severely underfunded government agency something to waste those precious dollars on.

Good to know what the RCMP is keeping such a close eye on these days.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home