September 14, 2007

Sorry If You're Eating

With the exception of sports, I enjoy a healthy interest in a variety of subjects I have only an armchair participation in. I like deep sea fishing shows; I love Discovery channel, whether it's to see how a catapult is built or how crayons are made.

I like reading about the ancient Roman sewer system and I will happily watch a show on how hedge mazes are grown. I'll watch people decorate houses, though my own is a little ragged, and I'll enthusiastically await the outcome of someone's makeover, though I live in fear I will myself be turned in by my 'friends'.

I'll read anything. I even, or especially, read about food. I like cooking shows, but only the over the top ones involving moody chefs and mystery ingredients. I can appreciate a good tantrum. I clip many recipes, and prepare none of them. I hate cooking, but love those stores that sell all the stuff associated with it.

Today in The Independent from England, a link caught my eye. 'How To Roast a Hedgehog' it said. Now, if you know much about British cooking, you'll understand that the subtitle of this story was more than necessary for clarification - 'secrets of the ancient masterchefs', it declared. It was about anthropological finds regarding ancient recipes. But, you never know.

I clicked on the link, which went to that annoying blank page. I read the small type. Too many people were clicking on this page at the same time. Now, I can't say this with any certainty, but how much do you wanna bet people all over England were trying to get their hands on that recipe? I've never been blocked from a link on that paper yet. It finally went through, and it's every bit as nasty as you imagined.

They've discovered the top ten recipes from ancients times, and even correlated them to some current stuff. You won't be surprised to learn that Haggis hasn't evolved much at all. I guess once you're cooking something in a sheep's stomach, you're pretty much a culinary sensation that defies improvement.

The hedgehog recipe is right there, for any re-enactment purists in our midst. The worst line in it? "If the hedgehog refuses to unroll, put it in hot water". I'm presuming this is after you've killed it with a club.


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