December 10, 2007

Canoe Wife

Unless you've been under a rock, you've heard about the British guy who faked his own death in a canoe accident 5 years ago. His wife claimed the insurance, and started making plans to join him in Panama. They got caught posing for a realtors photo, trying to buy a yacht, and similar things you evidently shouldn't do if you're trying to, say, hide.

Their sons aren't speaking to them. Good. I hope they never do. I can't imagine being told "Dad's dead, come, let's get you suited up for the funeral, so sorry", while you're taking calls from Dad the whole time. Huge, giant WTF? And I don't usually swear in this blog.

Every day provides new amazing details of this case. Read this. He actually hid in his own house for 3 years, through a hole in the wardrobe. The freak was living in his own house, with his sons mere feet away, pretending he was dead. I'd been wondering how much the insurance money was, and finally, here it is: $50,000.

I'll be honest, I couldn't even find the back of my closet for $50,000. It's a mess in there, and if I made it to the back, I would be well and truly lost and they might as well collect on my insurance policy. But to knowingly put your children through this is mind boggling.

This story is also a reminder that if you're going to fake your death, leave your widow a cooler nickname than 'Canoe Wife'. I mean, Lord Lucan has been missing for over 30 years, and they don't call his wife the 'Dead Nanny Wife'. She still gets to be Lady Lucan.

I feel for the kids; let's hope the apples cleared the circumference of both trees as they fell.


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