January 28, 2008

Blog Fog

I like to kind of ease into the week. Mondays are okay, as long as nothing moves too fast and nobody is furious.

You've all heard of Webgod Jeff. Speaking of fast and furious...

As I was reading about the mess-up going on with Sears in the U.S. (their can-do-no-wrong last year Chief, Edward S. Lampert, is very much do-no-right now), and connecting it with interesting mismanagement problems (scroll down to 'Pall in the Family' from David Olive's column, or go for a great in- depth read here, a recent Toronto Life offering) going on at Loblaws with their rocky trying-to-keep-it-all-in-the-family-even-if-the-family-ain't-cut-out-for-it plan, I somehow shut down my email.

I sometimes do this on purpose. If I'm trying to write to a deadline, my email can be a shiny object I keep chasing and it distracts me. Other times, I'll shut it down if I'm waiting to hear from someone, and it's just not happening. I'm trying to become an out of sight, out of mind type of person, rather than an absence makes the heart grow fonder sort. I guess my mother would tell me a watched pot never boils. Except they do, eventually, right?

Anyway, no email. And I was getting work done, and on a Monday so things were going well. I finally realized my email was off when I went to check something. Turning it back on, I found a pile of emails from Webgod Jeff, stacked up like little jets on a runway.

The first one had nothing in the subject line. We talk a lot to each other, and he's in the midst of developing a new website for me, so the emails have been going back and forth in a fury.

The second one had no subject either. But the third one had 'important' in it. In little letters like that. The fourth one had big screaming letters 'VERY IMPORTANT!!!'.

Now, Monday was perking up. I opened the first one. Just a reply to a question I'd had. I opened the second one. 'Where are you? Are you there?" because I hadn't answered the first one, I guess. Impatient bugger. The third one, now ranked as 'important', told me 'NOT to post to my blog. Just, don't do it'. He knows not to give too many details or reasons; I will just mess it up, and am better following succinct directions.

Because he hadn't heard from me on 'important', he'd sent 'VERY IMPORTANT'. I had a feeling he was about to feel a little foolish, but I opened it anyway. This is what I found:


This is very important!! If you post a blog it will screw your whole blog section...seriously..don't do it...I'll charge you $1000 just to fix it. I swear I will!!!!

Now, Webgod is the king of one word answers. You could chop off his hand, he'd kind of flinch. And here is was, Monday morning, and he's yelling at me. In red. And threatening me with extortion. Nice.

I told him I hadn't posted. I was too busy doing real work, which curiously didn't involve threatening people who pay me. I explained my email had been off, that was all. His answer?

ok you can post again...wouldn't that email make a funny blog! i think so!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

good ol Webgod Jeff, he intimidated me so bad I was scared to comment... Just one question, how much do you pay for such abuse?


January 29, 2008 12:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's priceless!

January 29, 2008 12:56 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Well, it certainly is difficult to quantify, if that's what you mean...

Another bit of info: every year, you have to renew your website connection thingee. It's your little piece of real estate on the web, and if you don't, someone can come along and scoop your domain name. Which would mean lorraineonline would probably end up featuring dancing naked girls or something.

So, WGJ takes care of that, and invoices me. And then when I forgot to pay him (and I am usually very good at paying, early even), he threatened to yank my site. I think he already had the naked dancing girls ready to upload. He says it's all in good fun. But you all know him now. Hmph.

And the abuse rolls on...

January 29, 2008 1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Internet connection thingee"? I see I've taught you well.

January 29, 2008 1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

bring on the dancing girls. just kidding.

January 29, 2008 1:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ah, do both...It could be fun Lorraine, explaining...

January 29, 2008 3:18 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

...Lorraine, photoshopping her head onto some smokin' dancing girl's body....

January 29, 2008 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can do that..just say the word

January 29, 2008 7:33 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Trust me. I already worry what people have photoshopped my head onto. Though it usually appears in my dreams as something out of Maury Povich or Jerry Springer.

And Jeff? Feel free to fire over January's invoice.

Then sit by your mailbox.

January 29, 2008 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will do!

*Goes and sits by mailbox while Lorraine's new site falls by the wayside for another month*

January 30, 2008 6:43 AM  
Blogger DJW said...


Will you leave the poor overworked lass alone so she get her book finished!


January 30, 2008 12:07 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home