January 4, 2008

This Just In...

I have several publications that, at the time of signing up to their websites, I ticked a little box that said "yes! send me an alert if earth shattering, ground breaking news occurs!". I've since unticked most of the boxes, because it takes most of these places hours and hours to let me know, and I'm an instant gratification kind of girl.

What I would prefer is that some of them could pause for a second, and consider their timing. This just came in from National Geographic (normally one of my favourites) and I pretty much barfed up my breakfast. It's a giant rat they've discovered. Which counts as a great discovery in a National Geographic kind of way, but it's still a rat, which counts as a great grossness in every other kind of way.

I watched the first half hour of Ratatouille with little shudders running through me. Animation or not, this was a rat. In the food. With apologies to my buddy Jerry Langton, I had more than enough rat stories when he wrote his book, Rat. Great book, but he has forever woven images deep into my brain that will force me to spike his dinner with something nasty next time he's here.

Most magazines just want you to buy something. Before Christmas, The New York Times was imploring me to buy a crossword puzzle shaped like a baseball. Really? I like flat crosswords, but baseball?

The Globe & Mail pretty much just sends alerts that yes, Prime Minister Harper has commissioned another poll, and no, nobody likes him any better than they did yesterday. The L.A. Times sends out alerts about once every 6 months. Takes a lot to shake those left coasters up.

Maybe I'll get Webgod Jeff to put a little box for people to tick on my next website. Then I can send out alerts of my own. "Teenager up before noon!" "Teenager takes phone message!" "Remote where I left it!" "Somebody just spilled water, the cat doesn't need to go to the vet!"

On second thought, I'll just endure the rats.


Blogger DJW said...

Those dirty rats!

BTW, "All Hat" is being previewed in Brantford next week. Details here:



January 04, 2008 9:36 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Thanks for the update, DJ.
Brantfordians, get your arses over there!

January 04, 2008 10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you picking on poor old Jeff again???

January 04, 2008 2:03 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Wouldn't dream of it. He's fickle enough without me bugging him...

January 04, 2008 2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fickle??? Ah, I see, you are bugging him... you are a bad one...charging double now is he???

January 04, 2008 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think he pays her.

January 04, 2008 3:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you are right...where is Arlene???... she'll know...

January 04, 2008 4:33 PM  

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