February 11, 2008

Marry Him? Why?

Settling. The word has such blah connotations. When the kids eat all the junk food, I settle for an apple. When you build a new house and it starts to settle, all the cracks show up. As we age, our weight seems to redistribute, because it's....settling.

I wasn't going to give this crackpot story any airplay, but it's peeved me. I like The Atlantic, a great magazine for fiction and some insightful pieces. But, man, when they let loose with their version of women's issues, it makes me nuts. If it's not Caitlin Flanagan nattering at women to stay home with their kids while she writes books and lets nannies raise her kids (judge much?) then it's this whackjob Lori Gottleib telling women to just marry. Marry anyone, just do it, because she knows we are all desperate to be wed, and we are just too picky. Good enough is good enough.

Cripes. Where does she think all the divorces have been coming from? Why the heck does anyone have to be married, especially if they don't feel like it? Why isn't single okay? I get tired of women telling me what I want, and pretending to speak for all women. You want to get married? Fine. Shut up and do it. Your ovaries are screaming at you to reproduce as they keep time with the ticking of your biological clock? Have a kid. I don't care. But quit telling other women what they want or need. If someone chooses not to have kids, that's fine. Better to know you don't want them, then to have them at everyone else's behest and be stuck.

The whole marriage thing? Whatever. I wouldn't even settle on a couch that was the wrong colour. Why would you ever instruct a woman to marry someone, anyone, just to be married?

Gottlieb actually - actually - starts talking about TV characters. Really. Ross and Rachael are real, doncha know. Oh, and Will and Grace. Is this woman for real? It brought to mind Dan Quayle getting all pissy about Murphy Brown.

The day we get a script is the day we all get it right. Until then, stop giving readers a supposed 'sneak peak' into every woman's brain - cuz honey, you're playing to an empty room.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine, can you say nut job? Like the world needs more problems over unsatisfactory and mismatched marriages, unbelieveable..

February 11, 2008 12:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw crap...and here I was gonna propose to you. :)

PS...I only watch the idiots at 530 live in case you make an appearance...the rest of the time I try to keep the sound off lest it be proven again how stupid and insincere the hosts are...you continue to be the ONLY redeeming factor for that cheap replacement for Judge Joe. (I told them to hire you but they aren't listening to me)

February 12, 2008 10:15 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Awwwww, you made me blush....!

Not to worry. I don't do so well with a script.

February 12, 2008 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine, I'll talk to Lawrence today for you. Propose? AND I was just going to that. Asleep at the switch and I lose out. You would do very well on Live and throw away the script. Not needed. I like real, live TV, not fabricated. Nothing beats the real moment.

February 12, 2008 10:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It may have been a satire at first before personal issues capsized the work, like in the first paragraph.What bothers me more than anything is she never met anyone who fired her up. Lorraine, you can't let someone's opinion rub you the wrong way so much. We don't know the back story behind this lengthy jeremiad. maybe her standards were too high and she's regretting that. Maye she met someone long ago and he vaporized or was killed. We just don't know. I know if you ask Heather Mills McCartney what she wants more than anything right now, it's cool hard cash. Those steel legs are expensive, you know but it matches her steel heart.

February 12, 2008 10:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't get the feeling that she was advocating settling as in just marrying anyone. My feeling after reading it was that she was pointing out a great truth about women these days in that they are too picky, holding out for their idealized version of a man that is not forthcoming. Her examples did ring true, Rachel and Ross, Mary Tyler Moore.

While I don't believe women should just get hitched for the sake of satisfying some inner desire to be married and have a family, I do believe they sabotage themselves and so many do regret being single as they hit middle age.

I base my thoughts on this on many years of dating, 3 of which I spent using online dating sites. I found many women over 30 to be ridiculous in their checklist of what they have to have in a man. And guess what? Many of them have yet to find love. At least love that keeps them off the sites for more than a few months at a time.

But the ones who really grind my gears? The ones over 35 who think they've got it all figured out due to their life experiences so far. So you've been married and divorced, did the common law thing after that, had kids, held a job...great. Now you think you're a know it all. That's grand. Enjoy being single, nobody's going to want to play in your sandbox.

Anyway, I don't think she's completely off her nut, I just don't think she's being as literal as she's being made out to be.

February 12, 2008 10:49 AM  

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