May 2, 2008


I was in a spelling bee last night. I have never been in a spelling bee before. A big fundraiser for Literacy North Halton, I was asked to join the team of 3 when Nika, a friend and fellow auto journalist, couldn't make it. Joe Knycha, an auto journalist there for his 5th Bee was in. Then my Dear Leader, Star Wheels editor Mark Richardson, had to be bumped up to the Master of Ceremony position when Jim Kenzie decided France had more to offer than Milton. I hauled along Arlene, who most of my commenters know and love. Why? She's a retired high school English teacher. We had our ringer.

We got there at 4:30. A frenzy of activity, dozens of volunteers make this thing hum. Everyone is costumed on every take-off of the word 'bee' that you can think of. Bee-trayed, Bees in Bonnets, Cub-bees, everyone tries to top each other every year. Mark told me everyone comes in costume. I said 'really?'. He said 'yes'. Because it would be just like Mark to tell me that and be lying (so I'd show up in costume, but nobody else), I instead opted for a middle ground kind of idea.

Our team is called the Road Scholars. Get it? Ari made us three mortarboards. On the top of each one, he made a duct tape road, and glued a different hot wheel to each one. The tassel thingee was a a cut- out of the green air freshener pine tree swinging from the hat. He did a great job.

As a bee virgin, I nervously noted what the other contestants were doing regarding the bar. Mark was on his third beer, so I decided that a small gin and tonic couldn't hurt. Arlene smacked me. Joe turned down a beer. Two hours later, with another small G&T in front of me, Arlene grabbed it and took a sip, and flung up an eyebrow at me. At one point, the bartender, an nice gent who was 70 if he was a minute, sent over a free drink. Sex on the Beach. Randy old bugger. But I don't drink those, and I was done for the night. Arlene happily sipped away at the pink porno drink, I noted.

Our words? I believe in the correct order:


Those are the ones we got right. The one that tripped us up?


We all began it with 'a-u-t-o'...whaddya want from a bunch of auto journalists? Though come to think of it, Arlene? Your excuse?


Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

So, how did the team end up? How many teams competed? Who won?

C'mon, Lorraine... it's Friday and I managed to meet all my deadlines this week and I'm looking for a little "excitement". You were expecting something different from an individual living in Omemee?

Oh yes. did Arlene slip up after her romp on the beach? Quite uncomfortable, I'm sure. By now, and I'm only guessing, she may be working on producing a pearl or two... sand does get everywhere...

May 02, 2008 5:56 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

We came in third, out of I think 21 teams.

Highest finish ever for the Milton Auto Writers team.


May 02, 2008 6:05 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

Auto Writer Person, if you know someone is a curbsider, what should you do about it?
Adler let the experts go today before he got to me.


May 02, 2008 9:42 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I dunno if the MTO does anything with the information or not.

But the sellers kit that is required by law tells you who the owner(s) of the car are, and have been.

If you see a name other than the one of the person you're dealing with, a bell should go off.

Mark Toljagic writes about used cars for the Star - he's great.
Ask him.

May 05, 2008 8:54 AM  

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