May 26, 2008


Raine vs Robin

I have a pet robin. I keep it in the yard. When it first appeared, I thought it was rather cute. A harbinger of spring and all that. The bunnies are still my favourite, but the robin has nuzzled a little space in my heart, mostly because it's the same one and I'm a sucker for anything that hangs around even after it's gotten to know me.

So. The robin. The robin is eating my grass seed. I have lousy grass, again. I'm actually starting to like the little white flowers that are growing on some of the weeds in it, and I'm becoming more confused by the day about which are weeds and which aren't. My neighbours throw around words like 'Sweet William' and 'Creeping Charlie' and I get so frustrated I don't know which guy is creepy and which is sweet.

I throw down grass seed like a flower girl dispensing rose petals at a wedding. Well, at least like they're supposed to, though I've yet to see a little kid actually do it; they usually cry and pee and hide behind their mother's dress. And you always know who the mother is - the pregnant woman the bride didn't want in her wedding party ("it'll wreck the photos!" - I've actually heard a woman say this), and has thrown a bone to by putting her kid in the wedding party. And all you usually hear echoing through the church is the wailing of the kid, as the groom considers a vasectomy. At my wedding, my flower girls were actually terrific. They stole the show, which in retrospect, was just fine.

Anyway - the robin. It's gotten to the point that every time I go out back, the robin flies down and waits a few feet away from me. If I turn on the hose, it hops under the water. It knows it's in for a feeding. Since I throw less bread these days, the squirrels have shifted their affections for more promising fields. I have a lovely bird feeder, but I gave up years ago putting out bird seed - it was just an appetizer for the squirrels. And I have yet to see 'squirrel proof' manage to be anything close to that. My neighbour put out a state-of-the-art feeder last year, and watched from inside as the squirrels performed their reverse-Houdini feats and were into it within ten minutes. They must sit over the shoulder of the Lee Valley engineers, chuckling.

My grass is growing miserably, but the inside of that robin must look like the little bugger is chugging Rogaine.

3 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

creeping charlie are little green leaves that look like shamrocks. You want those gone otherwise it turns your lawn into an astroturf like sponge field. Sweet William is white and dies easily if you pour too much Roundup on them. Actually, anything dies too easily with Roundup. Pretty rotten fertilzer I say.

May 26, 2008 10:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine... Pave it over and paint it green, better still astroturf...NO watering, very low maintenance, no more seed and you are are being environmently friendly by getting rid of the lawnmower. Put up a feeder for the Robin though. Must not kill them off. All in fun. My lawn is a mess also. I am trying to get it back but winter kill did is toll.

May 27, 2008 8:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My lawn is comprised of weeds, holding hands. lots of weeds. Mow it often enough and squint your eyes. It passes for "grass". Welcome to Canada, it only gets worse. Wait for July.

May 27, 2008 9:04 AM  

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