August 19, 2008

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

Noticed anything weird on websites you visit lately? Well, apart from the inherent weirdness of places you may visit that I don't want to know about.

The ads are getting more targeted. By that, I've started to notice this creepy personalization of ads, as if some ad exec is standing behind my chair, furiously taking notes of not just the sites I visit, but what I'm eating and drinking as I do so. And what I'm wearing. And what I'm watching on TV. And what I'm thinking of making for dinner. I mean, sometimes the ads seem to be ahead of me.

I'd finally gotten comfortable with pop ups asking if I'd like a larger penis. Well, you know what I mean. While I suppose a woman can suffer from erectile dysfunction in an indirect way, I at least knew that it was a blanket ad and I was merely a dolphin in the tuna net. The good old days of internet advertising.

But they're getting smarter, and it's making me more uncomfortable by the day. One day, there was a preponderance of ads for migraine drugs. How do they know I get migraines? Another day, every single one was trying to direct me a new diet - and I was having a fat day.

My search history is pretty boring, but even so, I don't really want anyone using it to draw up a profile of me. I mean, it includes everything from World of Warcraft, Imdb, the Mayo Clinc and Awful Plastic Surgery. What kind of conclusions can you draw from that? That I'm some psycho fantasy game playing wannabe actress with a nose job? (None of the above, for the record. You think I'd actually pay for this nose?)

This article in Slate explains some of it - browsers for sale. But unlike magazines selling subscription lists, this just seems more sinister. I learned not to order a damned thing through Future Shop on- line when I was deluged with crap spam within minutes of doing just that. And they own Best Buy, so consider yourself warned.

Right now some ad is asking if my teeth are too yellow. Oh, go away. If we're actually going to be chased by these hacks all the way to customized pimping, this medium reallly is being used only for evil.

About 6:00 the other night, some Swiss Chalet ad popped up. I paused - as usual dinner was not on the burner. But if they know us so well, they should know that since they changed their chicken pot pie to that crappy gravy, we don't eat there anymore. That, and the soggy fries.

I waited patiently for the next suggestion.


Blogger DJW said...

ahh, pop-ups.

I really miss them, NOT!

Between Bell and Firefox, pop-up are are thing of the past for me.

If you don't believe me, try it.

...Now if I can just get around these annoying word verification boxes (and they aren't words, they are mumblygook!) The one for this comment would sound like I'm trying to say one of those ingredients at the bottom of the list on a cereal box, while eating the cereal!

...All of you involved in telekinesis, raise my hand!


August 19, 2008 9:12 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

And what about those most annoying an invasive "floaters" that appear on some sites, like, for instance?! Ever try to stop them?

So soggy fries from Swiss is apparently a south west Ontario thing; if you think they're soggy in the restaurant, try take out...

August 19, 2008 11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine: You are sounding paranoid, or do they really have your number? Kidding! The computer sales pitches are as bad a telemarketing. All I want is their number so I can call them at this wee hour of the morning, just to screw them up. May I speak to the man or woman of the house? OH, am I too early? Then stop bugging me at supper hour arsehole.

Soggy fries? Yuck.. Southwest Ontario? nope! All over Ontario. Reheated food. Gotta love it...NOT!

Have a goodone.


August 20, 2008 4:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do like DJ does. He once convinced a telemarketer he didn't need a better phone plan cause he didn't have a phone.......

August 21, 2008 8:15 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home