September 16, 2008

Watch What You Say...

Today, the New Republic has a handy roundup of Sarah Palinisms. The red words are mine, in case you were wondering....

On the vice presidency:

"But as for that v.p. talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it, exactly, that the v.p. does every day?" In this case, apparently, they sit around thinking of ways to hasten an old man's death.

--July 31, 2008, CNBC's "Kudlow & Company"

On Iraq:

"I've been so focused on (impeding and abusing my powers within) state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq. I heard on the news about the new deployments, and while I support our president, Condoleezza Rice, and the administration, I want to know that we have an exit plan in place." Which, come to think of it, should mean a great deal more to me as I send my unfortunately named son, Track, off to fight. My father was a track coach, doncha know, so the name was so easy to arrive at! I of course wanted to name the child after his own father's job, but Musher was taken.

--March 21, 2007, Alaska Business Monthly

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending [American soldiers] out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan." I have heard Dubya and Cheney called many things. 'God' isn't one of them.

--June 8, 2008, Wasilla Assembly of God Church

On creationism:

"Growing up with being so privileged and blessed to be given a lot of information on, on both sides of the subject--creationism and evolution. It's been a healthy foundation for me. (No, Sarah, it's obviously been a painful, painful experience for you. Your brain is about to explode with the whole concept of that pesky 'science' stuff - though I'm sure even you, after praying long and hard and wondering if the public would accept that your daughter got pregnant by immaculate conception, yes even you had to go with the science.) But don't be afraid of information and let kids debate both sides." The only fear I have is people telling my children that dinosaurs cavorted with Adam and Eve a few thousand years ago.

--October 25, 2006, gubernatorial debate

On global warming:

"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one, though, who would attribute it to being man-made." Yup. You keep up that praying to make it go away. While you're drilling and drilling and drilling....

--August 29, 2008, Newsmax

On energy:

"I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that." Hell yeah, don't waste prayers on the sick or dying, the poor, the hungry or the disenfranchised. Pray for a gas line.

--June 8, 2008, Wasilla Assembly of God Church

On receiving $1.8 million in federal earmarks for the city of Wasilla:

"FYI This does not include our nearly one million Dollars from the Feds for our Airport Paving Project. We did well!!!" Okay, I just hate hate hate anyone who says things like 'FYI'.
--June 14, 1999, Wasilla City Council Informational Memorandum 99-62

On that "Bridge to Nowhere":

Question: "Would you continue state funding for the proposed Knik Arm and Gravina Island bridges?"
Palin: "Yes. I would like to see Alaska's infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now--while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist." And if they get persnickety, I can get Todd to get the moose rifle and do a little persuasion on my behalf. But don't worry about a paper trail - I have a hotmail account.
--October 22, 2006, Anchorage Daily News

On library books she doesn't like:

"What would your response be if I asked you to remove some books from the collection?" I would ask if perhaps you would like to sit and watch Footloose with me. And years from now, I will be cursing you for making me a stupid footnote in your alarming quest and having me even know what is.

--October 1996 conversation with librarian Mary Ellen Emmons, Anchorage Daily News

On the secessionist Alaskan Independence Party:

"Your party plays an important role in our state's politics ... keep up the good work, and God bless you." Oh, and you'all will be happy to know I finally have a passport, and am visiting somewhere called 'Quebec' next week!
--2008 video address to Independence Party's convention

On Ivana Trump:

"We want to see Ivana because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamour and culture." Forget it. She used the word 'desperate' before I could get to it. But at least I'm finally starting to make sense out of that hair....

--April 3, 1996, Anchorage Daily News

On running Wasilla:

"It's not rocket science. It's six million dollars and fifty-three employees. " Actually, the budget rose alarmingly as the number of employees dropped like flies. Oh, and Ms. Palin? When you are perusing those nu-cular codes, it is rock science. You might want to keep that in mind. You may want to see Jesus again in your life time, but I'm good.

--October 1996, Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman

On being governor:

"I will unambiguously, steadfastly, and doggedly guard the interests of this great state, as a mother naturally guards her own. Like a Southeast Eagle and her eaglets, or, more appropriately here in the Carlson, like a Nanook defending her cub." And I know a great deal about all of these animals. I have most of their heads hanging in my moose skinning room.

--December 4, 2006, inaugural address

On the prospect of becoming a candidate for vice president:

"It kind of cracks me up. It is so far out of the realm of possibility and reality." Thumps head on keyboard, weeping.

--August 14, 2008, Financial Post


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious! (& pathethically sad at the same time)

September 16, 2008 9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can you imagine what would happen if Sara Palin and Stephane Dion met and had a kid?Sara would be out there with the compound crossbow while Stephane bags whatever she hits in his back pack. Oh wait a minute..I forgot, black widows BITE the heads off their mates after lovemaking...

September 16, 2008 11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Ah, but I can see Russia". "I am qualified for the job". Scary isn't it?


September 17, 2008 7:46 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

What about the fact that she is now referring to McCain as HER running mate?!?!?!?

September 21, 2008 11:50 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home