February 14, 2009

Giles Coren

Oh, I laughed myself stupid over this.

Nobody does sarcasm better than the lovely Brits who are reared in a society that allows you to say anything you like as long as you can get the words around the tongue you have planted firmly in your cheek.

And nothing is more predictable than the literary Luddites who will appear on cue from the mist to the letters section to take it all at face value, first glance and with no good humour whatsoever.

I actually like dogs just fine, myself. I don't want one, but for the most part, I can tolerate most and even appreciate some. But to read something with the headline "Enough Whining: Ban All Stinking Dogs" in today's Timesonline tells you what you're in for.

Citing yet another child killed by a dog - as he segues into his own experiences with the critters - Giles states this:

"They've got to go. Dogs have just got to go. All dogs. Just to be safe. I'm not saying a spaniel represents a mortal danger to toddlers (indeed, if you shoot a toddler yourself then your spaniel will merely go over and point at it, and then your golden retriever will bring it back, and your dalmatian will bury it and then forget where it left it) but the problem is that owners will always get round breed-specific laws by crossing their murderous animals with others, as a disguise."

Can you imagine how much more alive our papers would be if we had more editorial, in every section, like this? The only trick is to make sure you pick on everyone, all the time.

Except cats. Now, don't be picking on my kitties....


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Only the country that gave us Jonathan Swift, could create and appreciate this clever brand of humour. The description of the turds glistening in the sun made me laugh out loud. Thanks, Lorraine, this made my day—in spite of my owning and loving three of the canine beasts he so rails against.


February 14, 2009 5:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved reading "The European" when it was avail at Int News because the editorials and pics were great. Of course, no one else bought it so my local store dropped it. Despite its name, it is a weekly from Great Britain. We have a LOT to learn from other nations how to cover events.

February 15, 2009 4:34 PM  

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