April 15, 2009

'Tis The Season

So, my sister Roz has a big deck off her second story bedroom. She likes this deck. So do the raccoons that congregate and get to know each other intimately every spring.

As if the wailing and flailing of copulating raccoons wasn't insult enough, they leave behind a lot of crap. No, not beer cans and old condoms - actual crap.

The only way to deal with it is for her husband to venture out with a shovel, a bag and a nose plug. Well, there are probably other ways to do it, but this is the way Roz deals with it. So her Poor Bugger (ha! let the haters get on that nickname!) fastidiously cleans the deck, bleaches the yucky parts, and puts down Raccoonaway or something to discourage them. I suggested they take out the mood lighting and the flip out sofa they have out there...

And, they're back. She started Googling (my sister, not the raccoon) to find a way to get rid of them. She sent me this link, which had me howling. You see, my father used to take care of raccoons (and skunks and squirrels) his own way. Farmboy way. He called everything varmints, and though we live in the downtown core, he had a .22 he used to dispatch anything he didn't like. And leg hold traps. I know, I know, pure evil. Call PETA. But now I'm pretty nice to squirrels, so I'm making up for it. We even know them - Tripod (3 legs), a little grey one with white ears and a white tummy that the Poor Sod announced must be a girl, and a black one with a red tail we decided is a hairdresser.

Advice from the site: "In the fall, shoot them and eat them, and make a hat out of their skins. (Get a hunting or trapping license first) At least cars help control them a little." I dunno about that licence part. But it's kind of them to suggest it, as if everything else they're doing is totally fine.

We had a raccoon here the other night. I came into the kitchen, and flicked on the light. A raccoon was sitting in the window, staring at me. But that's pretty much it on the raccoon watch.

Guess we don't have a romantic enough setting for them.


Blogger DJW said...

I too had a racoon problem ealier this year (http://djwbee.blogspot.com/2009/03/ringos-tale.html)
I have found that Critter Ridder (tm) and moth balls just annoy the heck out of them, and keep them away for a bit.


April 15, 2009 5:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm on my second bottle of Critter Ridder and had 1/3 of a bottle out there and they crapped right on top of the stuff. I thought it was supposed to burn. I've tried moth balls before and I'll put more out there again but Poor Bugger will have to pick up the poop first. All suggestions gratefully received. My first choice involves a golf club.

April 16, 2009 7:35 AM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I broadcast re runs of Shamwow ads on my balcony. Raccoon population zero. Death threats from neighbors, yeah gotta work on that.

April 16, 2009 10:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

update: I tried the mothballs and they didn't go near them. They crapped beside them.
9 iron.

April 20, 2009 8:56 AM  

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