June 22, 2009

Squeezing The Juice

O.J.'s ex girlfriend is shopping a tell-all book. It sounds horrid.

Dim restaurant, a greying O.J. sitting at the bar, looking around like a shark at a pool party. Table of girls, all giggly and stupid, pretending they don't know who he is.

O.J., to first girl: "Hey, there, come hang out with me. I have a great time, and I get away with murder!"
Girl One: "Buzz off, creep."
O.J., to second girl: "Honey, I have a trophy to show you!"
Girl Two: "I'm gonna call the cops...buzz off."
O.J., to third girl: "Sweetheart, you're just so pretty. Can I call you Nicole?"
Girl Three: "Okay! Bye, Courtney and Brittany!"

Thirteen years later. Girl Number Three goes looking for a book deal.

You're alive, you stupid ignorant moron. Shut.The.Hell.Up.


Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Regretably, it's something many eejits, born in the 70's and later conveniently label 'entitlement'. Please.

June 22, 2009 12:58 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Come on now, Lorraine. You know he's innocent. And the whole Las Vegas thing was simply a misunderstanding.

Darwin is watching. Her genetics will not make it to the next generation. And if they do... we'll call Norm the shark and give him her address.

Problem solved.

June 24, 2009 10:53 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

I mean really, the glove didn't even fit.

June 25, 2009 1:20 PM  

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