June 18, 2009


Starface


Now, I know that teenagers in general are full of crap when they get in trouble. The excuses fly thick when they're caught, and part of that is growing up.

But, check out this one. It's destined to become a classic.

This girl apparently went to have a few stars tattooed on her forehead. Because we all now how attractive it is to have black stars running around the side of your head. Now, she says she 'fell asleep' and woke up with 56 stars tattooed on the side of her face. It's the fault of the tattooist, and that's who her irate parents should blame.

That's what she said. 'Fell asleep'. Ever had a tattoo done? Well, I haven't, but I've seen it done, and 'falling asleep' is pretty much last on the list.

I was having a tattoo conversation with a friend this week. I don't like them. But we both agreed that they're totally okay in some circumstances, on some people. Like Popeye. I mean, if you really were a merchant marine or a sailor visiting many ports of call (and not on the Love Boat), then a tattoo is actually a requirement.

But, most of them are ugly. I don't like them. You see people on the red carpet in a 20K dress, and a smudge of crap on their shoulder or ankle that just screams "it seemed like a good idea at the time". I did like when the male Canadian Olympic swim team had little maple leaf tattoos on their chests years ago (think Alex Bauman). Or maybe I was just busy staring at their chests. Whatever.

I know, I know, people have many reasons for piercings and tattoos. Many are commemorating important moments. That's why we have cameras. And I think you should haul out those photo albums, and see how stupid your hair looked in high school. Now, imagine you have to have that hair for the rest of your life. And those glasses. And those slouch boots. And those leg warmers. Okay, now I'm just projecting. Sorry.

But if a tattoo is a must, I suggest you take a designated stay-awaker with you.

Update: Yup, she lied.

9 Comments:

Blogger WebGod Jeff said...

Falling asleep during a tattoo is not an option. Passing out, possibly. Besides, any respectable tattoo artist is going to be 100% certain as to the tattoo you want. He or she wouldn't mistake 3 for 56. I smell BS.

June 18, 2009 3:15 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

What happens when, in 35 years she has that face lifted? The stars will turn into oblongs. People will call her obtuse. But she probably will lose 5 or 6 of them in the process. If she lives to a hundred she might be down to just the ones on her nose.

Silver linings can be fun.

June 18, 2009 5:39 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Incidentally... I live by a certain credo. "Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once."

This is not one of them

June 18, 2009 5:46 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

The story smells. I believe what really happened is she couldn't face the music her parents made about the stars and tried to make the tattoo artist share the blame. Nothing else really makes sense here.

June 18, 2009 5:51 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Yeah, most news outlets are saying the kid is full of crap. I mean, she actually had it done, but changed her story after her parents freaked out.

June 18, 2009 8:41 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

When she starts to wrinkle will it look like a super nova?

June 18, 2009 8:54 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Regardless, we have a likely winner for the June Darwin Awards. The gene pool is getting awfully shallow...

June 18, 2009 11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone smell the beginnings of a movie or something in the media to create a cash grab? It is all BS. Falling a sleep in a painful situation is impossible. Next!!!

Did anyone tell her she is not a star, or the qualities to be one?

Rob...

June 20, 2009 5:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am glad she is not my daughter but I have to say it looks kind of pretty.... now.

June 28, 2009 8:37 PM  

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