July 16, 2009

No News Is, Well, No News....

The dog days of summer bring Stupid News. Let's peruse what has made headlines this morning...

As the G&M scrapes for a story, they end up on the bottom of shoe. Well, not quite, but the bottom of a foot, certainly.

Apparently, at least for all two people they talked to, going barefoot is the way to go. Um, ewwwww.

I run around my house and cottage barefoot all the time. Even when the temperature dips. But we don't have a dog, and nobody is allowed to pee on the lawn. The worst thing I've stepped in is a little bunny poop, and come on, even the words are cute. Bunny poop.

But there are diehards who insist traveling the sidewalks of our major cities is best enjoyed with bare naked pedies. I can still remember the first time I saw a guy spit on the sidewalk. I recoiled in horror as my mother pulled me along and told me not to look. Who couldn't look? Damned disgusting ball of crud glistening the sunlight. Spitting is gross. And gentlemen? You do not 'have' to do it. Last time I checked with my medical professional, men do not give birth to any more lugies than anyone else. And we women manage.

The Star wants us to know that TripAdvisor, one of those on-line travel things that features testaments to the quality of resort from outside posters has been using fake testimonials. To which I really need to add my own resounding, "duh".

The Timesonline would like to inform us that Jamie Neale, the idiot who got lost in the Australian outback for 12 days sparking a ridiculously expensive search for whatever the kangaroos hadn't made off with has not only been found, but he has already signed a celebrity deal.

That's it. The next trip I take, I am going without a map. Or verifiable accommodations. Or shoes.


Anonymous buzzwhack said...

That's a given Lorraine, as you've described your next trip for us.
No map needed, ( it's your own cottage) you already know with 6 boys, accomodations will be nil, and with that pile o' shoes described, why bother taking any?

July 16, 2009 12:26 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

I guess I have to change my photo. We have the luxury of Hamster poop at our house now. Why did the wacko who invented hamster balls not measure the diameter of hamster poop before he bunged those holes in it? Now little Corn Pop (it just begs the question, doesn't it?) scurries around our bedrooms every night smashing into all objects inanimate leaving a trail that we, in our bare footed bliss, squish. Bunnie poop sounds much cuter.

I am headed back to the bullet and bomb ridden streets of Caracas tomorrow. I think I am looking forward to it more than you are your trip to the cottage. Actually, the worst day at the cottage is probably better than the best day in Caracas. What are we going to do without our "Lorraine fix" for the next two weeks?


Bunny poop.

July 16, 2009 1:35 PM  

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