July 1, 2009

Oh, Canada....

If you're sitting around waiting to crack the first beer, consider for a moment what you like best about Canada.

I gave this a think just now, as I read this piece from the New York Times. They asked a bunch of Canadian ex-pats - from actors, to writers, to comedians - what they missed the most. It's a nice read.

What do I miss when I'm away? Depends on where I am. We have such a European influence here that a lot of places don't seem too foreign, even if the language is. In Buenos Aires, I missed traffic lights. And traffic laws. In Sweden, the food is a little freaky, no matter how open minded you are. In much of the U.S., I miss our smoking by-laws - you have no idea how nice it is to eat dinner without smoke wafting into your meal until you sit in the middle of a smoky restaurant. Gagging.

When I'm away, I miss not knowing how much gas is costing. I can't do the gallons conversion, and in some parts you have to pay before you gas up (I visit some really nice neighbourhoods, obviously). It still cracks me up that here we still buy peppers and beans by the pound. And I still convert degrees into Fahrenheit.

I know I would miss having seasons. I couldn't live somewhere where you didn't store one season's worth of clothes in your suitcases, then swapped them out a few months later. I mean, that's what suitcases are for, right?

I would miss having strawberries and corn and asparagus and cherries only in season. Imported isn't as good, I don't care what anyone says.

I like bitching about our politicians, but mostly that they don't do scandal very well. How come Harper can't have a soul mate in Argentina? Why isn't Flaherty toe tapping in some airport washroom? Why doesn't Rona Ambrose have a sex tape? Wait. Maybe she does. Maybe that's where she's been.

What's the best part of being Canadian? The snow? Healthcare? The garbage pickup? Hatchbacks (we more more per capita than anywhere else, I'm told)? CanLit? Wine? Women? Song?

Have at it.


Anonymous buzzwhack said...

For me what's great about Canada is handguns aren't legal and freedom of expression is so long as you don't offend anyone, go figure!

July 01, 2009 7:30 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Witty columnists, apologies when it's the other person's fault, beavers (I'll leave that one to your imagination), fuddle duddle, great wine, mediocre beer (except the micro breweries), hockey, snowbirds, the Loonie, the Toonie, coloured money, colour spelled the right way, and gangsters called Mugsy.

Buenos Aires has way more pollution (although they tell me Canada is the worst of the G8 per capita right now, thanks to the tar sands) but you can cut their grain-fed beef with a spoon. I have done it. After 11:00 PM any traffic lights that there are, flash yellow all four ways. Whoever gets there first wins. This causes everyone to floor it the closer they get to the lights. The most terrifying drive of my life occurred there at 2 in the morning. Fortunately I wasn't sober so it really didn't matter. I should point out I was in a cab. Not driving. I think all cab seats are vinyl so the clean-up is easier.

July 03, 2009 9:23 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Incidentally, I read an article on Canadian Beaver vs European Beaver and it turns out the Canuck is more industrious, builds a better home, and is larger. In the Beaver category... We Rule!!!

July 04, 2009 9:14 AM  
Blogger sxoidmal said...

I have never heard of "CanLit" before and I'm dead intrigued. What is it? Does it deal with nationalism or cabin fever? Are there beavers?

What I like about Canada is the bilingual Bazooka Joe comics. One of my fondest childhood memories, with Wonderland a close second.

July 06, 2009 2:45 PM  

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