August 8, 2009

For Heidi, Jody & Elizabeth

Because those are the names that really matter, regardless of how many times the headlines scream out the name of their murderer, the psychopathic misogynistic bastard who ended their lives as they worked out at a gym in Pittsburgh earlier this week.

It's the usual pattern; first blame your mother, then blame the 30 million women who have rejected you in your lifetime. That's his estimate: 30 million.

It's emerging now that he was a devotee of some ass named R. Don Steele, a dating guru who told seminars full of men how to get women. Rule One? Don't be a nice guy. Well, Mr. Murderer nicely ticked that box, doncha think? Maybe it's just me, but anyone who offers up seminars and books with titles like How To Get Rich, or How To Get Women, is never going to teach anyone, anything. I might buy something entitled How To Build a Shed, or something like that, but anything that promises to teach you how to manipulate other people is destined to be a bust. The only person in that room who has mastered that is the person taking your cheque at the door.

Mr. Murderer was angry; insanely angry. Here he was, fit, presentable, apparently good looking enough to not make small children cry, and yet, he couldn't get a girlfriend. Now 48, he hadn't had a girlfriend since 1984, nor had sex since 1990. Left out of this equation is something I think is really important: did he not have any friends of either sex? I'm thinking not, and there might be a tiny inkling that it's not your flavour of aftershave or the fact that you eat pizza with a knife and fork. Maybe your social skills are somewhat circumspect; maybe women don't like you because THEY CAN TELL IN THE FIRST VERBAL EXCHANGE THAT YOU ARE AN ANGRY WOMAN HATER WHO IS CAPABLE OF TAKING A GUN AND BLOWING AWAY WOMEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW.

Rage rolls off people in waves. I don't care how white your teeth are, how nicely you're dressed, or what the actual words are coming from your mouth. Most women have hate radar, which helps them stay alive. It's quite simple: if we stay away from angry men, we get to live longer. If we learn to develop a way of seeing that rage beneath the flowers and the apologies, we get to live longer.

The love of a good woman will not change the course of a river - may delay it, may submerge it, but it can't change it.

And here we have Mr. Murderer, taking tips from that fraud R. Don Steele (why don't people drop the 'R', anyway? It's stupid), that reinforce his belief that women are to blame for the fact he hasn't been laid in 20 years. Because believe me, there's nothing quite so attractive as a man who wants to get laid. Really. It's a beautiful thing to behold, like long walks on the beach. It's so great when they look at you as a possible replacement for a blowup doll or a hooker.

I refuse to get into a peeing match about successful women being threatening, or feminists being man-haters or any of the other tired, lazy stupid excuses that get thrown around. Most men and women I know are pretty much looking for the same thing, and work hard at maintaining it if they have it, or work hard at becoming the mate they'd like to attract. It may not be rocket science, but it is chemistry. The funny thing is, that chemistry is created in odd places. Through friendships, through proximity, through kindness.

So to Heidi Overmier, Jody Billingsley, and Elizabeth Gannon - you bore the final outrage of a man who hated all of us. To their families, I'm so sorry.

And to R. Don? Stop promising hopeful men, desperate men, and hateful men the idea that women are like cars, and you just have to learn the art of the deal.


Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I read the article on today's Star and what a sad story. It reminds me of the excellent interview Lizze James did with Jim Morrison in 1968 about problems with America. "We fear violence less than our own feelings. Personal, solitary, private pain is more terrifying than what anyone else can inflict." At one point during the course of Mr. Murderer's breakdown, he no longer related to ordinary people. He developed a complete world of his own and when that no longer helped him, he lashed out against others. The move from nuerosis to psychosis is predictable but seldom visible. I doubt anyone could've stopped this from happening. I'd love to think a Leo Buscalia type could've averted his violence but no, I doubt it. Leo would've ended up full of holes too.
It takes a train to cry and I'm guessing he had a locomotive going through his brain.

August 08, 2009 8:11 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

The only saving grace is that he saved the cost of a trial and of housing and feed him for the next 40 years.


August 09, 2009 7:50 AM  

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