November 16, 2009

"Going Rouge" & Other Things That Make Me Red in the Face

Of course everyone has heard that Sarah Palin's new 'book' - Going Rogue - hits the ground (trailing a long swath of slime behind it, no doubt) tomorrow. Now, what cracks me up is I've read half a dozen blog postings in various places referring to it as "Going Rouge".

And these are the people who support her. And like her. And are helping her sell her book by making us think it was ghostwritten by Max Factor.

My back is killing me. Right between my shoulders, has been for a few weeks. I think one of the kids changed my chair setting and now I must sit here spinning my magic words in pain. This makes me not clean the bathroom or make dinner either. I believe there is no limit to what I should stop doing in order to make my family pay for altering my chair. Except figuring out where the chair should be set, however.

Actually, there's another reason I hate cooking for this lot. Ari came in the other day, and picked up a piece of a granola bar box. There was my handwriting on the inside.
"What's this?" he asked.
"A recipe," I replied.
"For what, disaster?" he said.

I couldn't think of a topic for my Wheels column today, so I asked my editor. Which of course gave him yet another opportunity to say 'here's something you can write for your wishy washy lifestyle crap'. Which is what he calls my work.

My chimney needs to be rebuilt.

We were with friends the other night for dinner. They are very lovely people with three young daughters. We had Chinese food. Christopher thought it would be a good thing to tell them the best way to read fortune cookies. By adding 'in bed' after each fortune. I was so proud.

This same son actually used the term 'bros before hos' today. Yep. Proud.

It is getting to that in between temperature now where I can't decide if I need the winter duvet and normal sheets, the lighter duvet and flannel sheets, or the winter duvet and flannel sheets. Either the weather - or me - has to make up its mind.

Just as predicted, the hallway is hanging in tatters, and the Poor Sod went back to work. I may just staple Christmas paper to it and ride out the holiday season.

CHCH reran a show I did for Live@5:30 earlier this week. I came home on Saturday night to an email from a gentleman essentially telling me I was frigid. Hmmmmm. Guess it's the winter duvet AND flannels, after all.

Even though the boys put out the garbage and bins last night, nobody emptied the smaller bins inside. They are teetering and overflowing. And I have a thing of celery in the fridge that I could tie into a bow. Maybe I'll make a wreath out of it for my festive hallway.

I'm sure I'll think of more things to whine about later.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO....put that celery in some cold water and it will firm right up...then feed it to your boys...whats the worst that can happen?

November 16, 2009 2:30 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

They'll say, "Aunt Rozzy told you to do this, right?"

November 16, 2009 2:39 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I'm having fun with my car this week. The owner's manual gets thicker every year and tells you less correspondingly.I've dealt with your editor and am sad to say, he is a (used) baby wipe.

November 16, 2009 2:41 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I love my editor.

And no, I don't get paid extra to say that;)

November 16, 2009 2:48 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Limp celery and a chimney requiring rebuilding; let's see how long it takes for further double-entendres to fly... ooops, what do you know; no time at all.

Perhaps you have reason to whine after all?

November 16, 2009 3:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Going Rouge" is a book by a range of commentators that looks at Palin's record, policies and impact on US politics. So it's not a mistake in some places - that's a whole different book. The other side of the coin, I guess. It's here -

November 16, 2009 3:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey, not guilty with the celery comment, but it does work. Don't bother giving Lorraine cooking tips as they don't take. Believe me, I've tried. With her culinary expertise, I'm just surprised no one in her family is the size of a hobbit.


p.s. Sarah Palin had some very fetching hi-lites on Oprah yesterday. Oh, and I'm crabby too.

November 17, 2009 9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't think the celery thing was a cooking tip...more of a parlour trick. I love to hear "The celery is no good" then do the cold water and later on hear them crunching it going "oh good, you got new stuff"
Not that they like celery, its just another way to eat peanut butter.

November 17, 2009 11:14 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

On the topic of fortune cookies... 'found' one I had forgotten about the other day. my wife has it taped to a computer monitor in her office...

"You will be doomed to be happy in marriage."

In bed???

November 18, 2009 10:11 AM  

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