November 8, 2009

Hey, Can I Get a Butler, Too?

I read this big ad in the Toronto Star today. It caught my eye because it's basically a 3"x4" block of solid script, in the midst of a Domestic Help section that typically contains ads that run to about 8 words: "wanted exp. cleaning lady must not steal" - something like that.

But this ad, which I cannot find on line, is freaky. The only clue I could dig up is here, where, by sleuthing the address, it has been determined that it is a member of the Rogers clan who is seeking a live-in butler.

Oh, but so much more. For $71,400 per year, they want someone who will work full time, live-in but be available to work nights and weekends. They will be the household go-to person for all family members, 'reception and looking after guests, full chauffeur duties including care & maintenance of luxury automobiles' (they don't just call them cars, like I do), 'all services of food & beverage' 'event planning' 'valet duties' 'packing of suitcases for travel' (really? so I'd get to blame Harold the valet if my black boots - no, the other black boots, not those ones - got inadvertently left out?)

They want a university grad who went on to graduate from Butler School. Excellent oral and written skills. Calendar management (though I don't know what that means - when the month is up, I just flip the page), household inventory management (Mom! we're out of Corn Flakes!), wine cellar management (oooh. I could do this. 'Madam, I'm told Tuesday was a very good year for this plonk'). Running of errands. Personal shopping. Simple cooking. Must be honest, have common sense, be tactful and discrete. (I just threw my app in the garbage).

Highly motivated. Energetic. Self-starter. Polished appearance. Must get CPR training.

Now, that last bit makes sense to me. If they actually find someone who can be all these things to all these people in all these ways, and be able to hire them for an essentially 24-hour a day job, for $71,400, they're gonna need to have someone who can revive them when they fall over in a dead faint.


Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Read the article yesterday... Indentured servitude comes at a price, I see.

BTW, talking about boots, which you were, blacks ones... what about the purple Docs and the red cowboy boots?

November 08, 2009 12:50 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I returned the purple Docs. I never needed them. I still don't have the red cowboy boots, and I'm thinking I'm of an age where I would look like a total arse in red cowboy boots.


November 08, 2009 1:23 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Nah... what about Shorty Jenkins... 74 years old and wearing pink cowboy boots!

November 08, 2009 7:12 PM  

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