December 29, 2009


I know it's not Air Canada's fault...

...but I gotta blame someone, and I think the lineup to take down that ass from Nigeria who tried to blow up a Detroit-bound plane is getting longer by the minute.

You heard. Christmas Day, Terrorist Man straps something to his leg, tries to inject something to ignite it mid-flight, and thank god a passenger looked up from his peanuts or up from his personal TV screen long enough to notice the dude wasn't adjusting his tube sock.

So. New security rules now in place all over the world. I mean, it's not like our Nigerian guy was already a terrorist watch-list. Or a no-fly list. Oh, wait, yes he was. Ferchrisakes, he did everything but stamp 'Terrorist' in red on his damned forehead, and they still let him on the plane?

You know what they did to me at Heathrow? They took little pieces of litmus paper and tested all my lip balms and moisturizers. I pleaded with them not to waste the good stuff. But they did little smears to make sure I wasn't gonna take down the plane with a tube of Blistex.

Now, I'm not scheduled to fly for several weeks or so, but Christopher was booked on a flight to Cleveland for December 27. Five minutes to head out the door, cancelled. Rebooked the following morning. Then that was cancelled.

So, I spent yesterday in the van driving him to Ohio. I love getting up at 6. In the freezing cold. And driving with my numb ass in a minivan for 9 hours. Actually, I do love driving for 9 hours. And being with my kid is kind of cool. I mean, he's trapped and has no choice. But not in my minivan. I prefer something cooler. A minivan is not cool.

I got home and called Air Canada and let them play really bad Christmas music in my ear for half an hour on hold, until I got through. They cheerfully refunded the fare - which was fine. I decided yesterday I'm going back to get him on Sunday. Sitting around an airport is torturous, and I can't let his friend's family be worried that he'll never leave.

I think I might just be sending a long email to Nigeria letting them know that they owe me lots and lots of money.

Wouldn't that be a fun change?

3 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Lots of people got stiffed thanks to Lagos Boy. I'm so NOT looking forward to those body cavity searches. Please tell me they won't do that at O Hara, please???
Maybe I'll drive to the Chicago Auto Show.

December 29, 2009 8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're a good mom and he is very lucky you had the time and the energy to take him.
Enjoy your quiet house!

December 30, 2009 8:36 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Hoping that things will have settled to a dull roar by the time I have to fly to the US January 10... I wish I could say that I'm surprised by this apparent lack of security and common sense. Remember, we are only hearing of those incidents where something actually occurred...

December 30, 2009 1:32 PM  

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