February 16, 2010

Sexting Texting

I thought Adam Giambrone's (see a couple of posts ago) sextmails were embarrassing. Well, no, I knew they were. I will never, ever erase "I like you because you're smart and interesting. You're also good-looking naked" from my brain. Trust me; I would like to. All I can hear is Ben Stiller in that model movie saying 'gOOd-looking'. That movie was funny, actually. Giambrone is not.

Anyway. Today's lesson comes to you from a sex therapist (really? a sex therapist?) in Florida who was banging a client, stealing pills from her and all the while billing her insurance company. Full service provider, indeed. So. First things first. If you end up in Smoking Gun, dunzo. Over. While you're at the link, go check through the other sections of that site.

Now, as a trusted member of the medical community, it is highly recommended that you fix your patients, but not do them. Big, big pond; catch another fish. And if your client is a fragile, depressed woman, the sign you are seeing is not 'bingo'. It is 'beware'.

Where am I going? TEXT MESSAGES. I don't text message. I managed it once, got a column out of it, and swore never to revisit it. I know tons of people who live by the stupid things. I even know some grown-up adult type people who are incessantly doing it. It's remarkable, actually. I can understand teenagers. I would have been all over this when I was, say, 15. And to transfer information ("I'll be out front at 5" "Don't forget to grab some milk"), I can see its value for big people. But mostly, I see it as another tether strap between teenage girls sitting beside each other, and teenage girls trying to figure out if he's somewhere with some other teenage girl.

Sorry. Too much tethering.

But for big people? For big people in love? For big people in love who are in politics or a sensitive discipline? Really? Text messaging?

The Florida shrink? Who was boffing his patient? His sex therapy patient? Who was fragile? And he was ripping off for more than her heart? Yup. Text messaging. Ready? "U r soooo hot!! I worry that I m holding u back from a younger stud who can really meet ur need!! lol!"

The good news? You're off the hook, Adam. Seriously.

For christsakes grownups, stop sending these messages. You're killing me.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's nice to know what constitutes an emergency suspension of a Doctor in the State of Florida. God help you if he was just an "ordinary run of the mill" cretin. Man's ability to disappoint me never fails. The smoking gun and mugs shots are great sites to visit. Loved Shamwow guy's epic fail on there. So thanks again for another sordid episode Lorraine. Now where's my iodine and razer blade? LOL buzzwhack

February 16, 2010 6:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The average person is sexting.. just because a person in supposed power is in their annointed postion does not mean they have a brain.

My stupid husband was sexting, another women he worked with, both married both with children.. both of an age where they should have known better, stupid husband pisses off flame, stupid women sends sexting messages to everyone, including stupid wife, who was stupid enough to trust said stupid husband.

The stupid stuff in the texting was described by therapist as two people in luminence and that it is to be expected by two adults, and that it just happens that way.. HUH!!! stupid wife, no longer stupid fires stupid therapist, stupid husband, and swears she will never trust another stupid therapist, husband or other woman..

nuff said... just cause you have a texting machine... does not mean you have the brains to use one.

February 17, 2010 10:20 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

You have my sincerely stupid condolences about your husband. Not every man is like that though. Believe me, there are decent men and women out there.

February 18, 2010 10:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't believe the average person is sexting. Show me the report on that. Sorry about your husband, but sexting doesn't kill marriages, people kill marriages.

February 18, 2010 10:23 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Nah, I totally believe Anon #2. And I'm sorry for your idiot husband.

I know a ton of adults who text - and who text stupid.

Maybe I'm finally grateful I have such lousy eyesight and klutzy fingers. I'd probably promise some guy I'd lobe him forever.

February 18, 2010 4:55 PM  

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