March 24, 2010

Please Release Me

Somehow, I'm not sure how, my email addresses ended up in the hands of thousands and thousands of publicists. I think it's through my website. Now, this would be fine if these publicists actually did more than computer-generate a big spasm of emails to blast out randomly. If they considered where their missives were landing. I do hear from some publicists I work with, and genuinely like to hear from. If you're not sure if I mean you, then I don't.

But here's the thing: there's a damned good chance that I'm not who you mean to send an interview request to if your client is the following: a cookbook author; a cloth diaper advocate; a men's rights activist; a reality show for bored middle-aged housewives who dress like Miley Cyrus; an exercise book author; a dressing for success book author; AA; a Republican speechwriter; a motivational speaker; and my all-time favourite: A CLIENT WHO WRITES THE SAME THINGS THAT I DO.

These releases are always a densely worded full pager pimping their client, which is fine, but it's so wordy there is no way that anyone reads the whole thing. They end with the line that their client is available for interviews with the media. Again, this is fine, but they're sent out so randomly, I get people within the same company asking me if I want to interview a plastic surgery addict, a mommy blogger (lord, how I hate that appellation), and wondering if I'd like a sample of a straw hat, a miracle moisturizer and support hose. They really need to refine their act.

So. To those who send me stuff I can and do use, thank you. To the rest of you?

Delete, delete, delete...


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a middle-aged bored housewife who wears cloth diapers and believes that men have too many damn rights as it is. Would you like to interview me?

March 29, 2010 11:45 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh, my. Yes!

March 29, 2010 11:47 AM  
Anonymous jmd said...

That was me - I didn't mean to be anonymous. I am available to the media on Wednesdays from 7 - 8 p.m.

March 29, 2010 11:48 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Which coincides nicely with Happy Hour chez Lorraine.

March 29, 2010 11:50 AM  
Anonymous jmd said...


March 29, 2010 11:52 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

And people wonder where I come up with ideas of stuff to write about...;)

March 29, 2010 11:53 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

You're just the best... Sweetie!

March 29, 2010 12:43 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Your happy hour is only 60 minutes long?That doesn't leave much time to drink. "Set 'em up, Joe. Three by three. Ava's done fractured me and I'm gonna sing a blues tune and make a million dollars..." ooops, Frank Sinatra sometimes channels me.

March 29, 2010 3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're all wack-a-loons.


March 30, 2010 11:27 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home