May 12, 2010


Itching for Bitching

Well, in honour of this miserable day (really, May? This is what you bring me after winter totally ripped me off?), I feel a little whinging and complaining is in order. And there will be no rhyme nor reason to this, so don't look for one.

I hear Cats the musical is coming back. Lord, make it stop. I barely survived Mama Mia, and now they're disinterring that feline stupidness? Of all the talent in all the world, why on earth is this the crap that gets mounted? I hear the production of Enron that did fabulously well in London totally crashed on Broadway. While I will admit to being initially a little fuzzy on how the hell you get a Broadway show from the bowels of a corrupt story like the Enron disaster, I've since come to realize I would rather watch that than Shizzlepuss or whatever it's name is howling at a paper moon.

Helena Guergis, shut up. The only thing worse than a woman complaining that it's tough for a woman to get elected into politics is watching one complain that she's been hit with a hardball once she's on the field. With a family as supposedly politically astute as yours, you should know that your husband is going to be held accountable for his actions based on your position. Don't like it? Tell him to stop being such a dirtball. Or get out of politics and push the spotlight off yourself. Oh wait - you rather like that spotlight, doncha? Until it starts to get a little hot.

To the idiot in the minivan I saw this morning as I dropped my kid off in the rain: the law now says you can't use a cell phone. You sailed through that four-way stop with your two kids in the back. But you didn't miss that phone call, now did you? Cops have handed out 4400 hundred tickets in Toronto. While I think all cell conversations should be illegal, I do wish the cops would hang around schools in the morning during bad weather. Oh, and Idiot? Be glad the other 3 cars stopped at that intersection, or you would have using that damned phone to call for an ambulance for your kids.

A Star editorial says the Harper government has gone too far in it's zeal to make sure that sex offenders don't get pardoned. I think it's about time this topic was visited. I'd say revisited, but the fact someone like Graham James can receive a pardon for multiple sexual offences against minors leads me to believe nobody was watching it to start with. The fact is, 99% of pardons are approved. Is there a place in our society and justice system for pardons? Absolutely. I would hate to see people marked for life for mistakes made in youth, in distress or totally out of character. And if this proves to be the case - pardon away.

But sexual offenders and predators? Involving kids? Really? What do you say we talk to survivors of these crimes and ask what they think? And how about we send a reporter over to Spain, where Graham James went on to coach junior hockey for two years after Canada granted him his pardon? Let's go talk to those players and parents, see what his pardon unleashed on them. Dollars to donuts, the bastard was at it again. Oh wait, he couldn't have been. After all, he was pardoned.

I'm out of milk, because Christopher used the last of it for cereal last night. So I'm having my tea with The Poor Sod's weird lactose-free stuff, and I'm not happy. No, there is no difference. But I think there is. I hate being out of milk.

If you've ever been peeved at the nerve of *some* people (and yes, you say it just that way), this column is quite illuminating. There are two types of people: Askers and Guessers. Askers assume they might be turned down, so feel free to ask for anything they want. Guessers consider every side of the question, and interpret people who are Askers as Rudists. I made up the word rudist. Which no doubt indicates I am a Guesser. Neat read, though it probably doesn't make much more sense than I do.

Totally tasteless...yet I still found it amusing.

Sooooooooooooooo. What's bugging you today?

37 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Great rant, today my bugbear is houses whose addresses aren't where they should be! You'd think 101 Bugbear Avenue would be next door to 99 Bugbear Avenue with 100 across the street...BUT NOOOO, 101 is about 60 houses away around the bend and next to Shafted Lane!Wasted a half hour trying to find it. Almost as bad as the one residence who owner's directions to get to included sentences like, "turn right at the house that isn't there yet." Great, he lived in a new development, very new as it turns out.

May 12, 2010 11:37 AM  
Anonymous Wally said...

What's bugging me?

I opened my pool four weeks ago, expecting to be swimming by Mother's Day. The temp is now colder than when I opened it.

Took my car in for regular maintenance today and ended up with a $1000 bill. They say I don't drive it enough.

Watching them continue to work towards a new power plant here in Oakville, even though many of the required approvals are not in place.

May 12, 2010 11:48 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

You guys are good at this....

Oh, and Wally? My 18-year-old would be pleased to help you put more miles on your car....

May 12, 2010 11:50 AM  
Blogger David said...

With deadline for a feature pressing this morning, called folks who were to review and approve before publication. Not there. Took the day off. No cell. No one knows where they are -- including her boss. Spoke with boss man; she'll be back in tomorrow morning and will get to it then OK? Nope. Paper goes to press this afternoon. Boss reluctantly agrees to review final pieces. "I'll get back to you in the morning!" Hello? Finally all approved and now being laid out. Kinda normal, except it threw off a couple of other interviews for other articles; one lady in Duncan BC and another in St, Paul, Minnesota.

What is it about deadlines that folks have difficulty comprehending?

For the record, the deadline was 'announced' to clients a week ago when the initial interviews for the feature started and were reiterated verbally three times and in email a further six.

Not worth getting worked over, I know, but I'm searching online now to see if Pepto is available on tap!

May 12, 2010 12:38 PM  
Blogger David said...

And another thing... we've been looking at cars lately. Narrowed it down to a Hyundai Santa Fe. Due to aforementioned deadlines, I was not able to go with wife, Sheryl to place order, etc. No biggie. Wife negotiated a pretty good deal and was regaling me with her skills via cell phone while I frantically returned calls and pecked away at a keyboard. All was great -- until she went into the Business Manager's office. And then, all hell was unleashed as said Manager attempted to add fries to the deal. Wife having none of it and threatened to walk. Manager then called me. Mistake. She is now able to perform her morning ablutions through an extra orifice -- perhaps two since once I was done, Sheryl contiued in on her like a lioness going for the jugular.

I hate buying cars.

For the record, the sales person and manager were great. Sheryl picks up the car Monday. Business Manager searching for Band Aids.

May 12, 2010 12:44 PM  
Blogger David said...

Definition of an oxymoron? Two words; musical theatre.

Almost got sick in my mouth over breakfast when I caught a glimpse of Richard 'Ozonelayer' at The Star's review for Rock of Ages.

Do we really need to relive the 80's?

May 12, 2010 12:50 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Hey David? Let someone else have a turn...hee

May 12, 2010 12:55 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Oh, don't get me started - my pet peeve is people who think it is a great idea to start their own businesses. They register for GST and PST numbers, and then proceed to keep no books or records for the next five years. They then come into our office on April 28th, with five Sobeys bags and a knapsack stuffed full of coffee-stained receipts, in no particular order, and wonder if we can have all five years done by the 30th. Someday I am going to snap, and beat one of them to death with a hole punch.

May 12, 2010 12:55 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 12, 2010 12:57 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Anyone else have a crush on jmd?

May 12, 2010 1:00 PM  
Blogger David said...

Lorraine... remember, you're the one that opened Pandora's box by inviting comment!

And, in fairness/deference to others I'll add no more gripes to this thread... unless, of course I'm provoked. What would constitue provocation? A fly farting as it hurtles by my window or neighbour Felix showing fellow homeowners his impressive power tool selection -- the man retired a few weeks back and is driving the 'hood bonkers!

May 12, 2010 1:06 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

David, I just wanna hear that you're chasing kids off your lawn.

May 12, 2010 1:08 PM  
Blogger David said...

My lawn? OK, that does it... it so needs to be cut that Felix has been out measuring the length of it -- the grass, that is. Sheep are hard pressed to provide an estimate and yes I know, if I was not dribbling on here, I could likely go cut it!

Where the heck are my ibuprofen?

May 12, 2010 1:11 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

David - forget the ibuprofen. Go straight for the Harvey's Bristol Cream.

May 12, 2010 1:56 PM  
Blogger David said...

Never been a sherry fan although at this time of day it may be more 'civilized'. Prefer Jack or Jim over Harvey -- now this comment in itself could lead in an interesting direction...

May 12, 2010 2:02 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Captain Morgan in his swashbuckling outfit always turned me on.

May 12, 2010 2:05 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Great. I have a crush on jmd, and she has a crush on Captain Morgan.

Foiled again.

May 12, 2010 2:25 PM  
Blogger David said...

Lorraine's blog; social networking in action. Welcome to Web 2.0. I learned something new this afternoon courtesy of Ms. S -- I believe that officially, my day is now complete!

May 12, 2010 2:47 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Huh... let's see here. Love my job. Love my wife. Love my kids.

Love my life.

This sucks. I have nothing to rant about.

May 12, 2010 3:32 PM  
Blogger David said...

PS. Chris, you just did!

May 12, 2010 4:58 PM  
Blogger Sharon Kay said...

Eating my breakfast this morning and watching the news when that Folger's commercial comes on where the daughter and father are sitting in the kitchen and the daughter tells her dad that he won't have to worry about her coming in late for much longer and shows him her engagement ring. Daddy tells her what a lucky man her fiance is and that that is what he told him when they talked last week!! My god, WTF? The look on his face makes me want to throw something at the TV.

May 13, 2010 8:40 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

(waves at Sharon....)

Sometimes I do whole rants *just* on stupid TV ads.

Looks like it may be time to rev up...

May 13, 2010 8:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love to read the rants!
I called Sears on Monday about getting my dishwasher repaired in my new house. Changed my address with them at the start of the call and then was asked where I bought the dw. I again said "I just moved here, the dishwasher came with the house so I don't know" They didn't like the model number said it didn't exist although I was taking it from the Owners Manual...Kenmore, definitely Sears, and again, when did you buy it? Again...it came with the house. These people who answer the phone don't have a brain, only a script and can't seem to converse unless it is written for them.
Then they finally get around to giving me a date and a 12 hour window of time that the repair person will show up! 12 Hours! Thats the best you can break it down???
Got another call the next day cutting it to a four hour window. Still means taking time off work but if they can fix it, it will be worth it. I don't want to buy a new one as I found with the last dishwasher, the new ones are so efficient with water that nothing gets clean. Give me a big old clunker of a dw and your dishes will be sparkling clean!

May 13, 2010 9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I have a good one. There is new townhouse construction across the street from my house. The workers brought in a boom-box to listen to some music. No big deal but it's that unusual screechy high pitched "music" from somewhere else across the world. They've got it so loud that I can hear it in my office at the back of the house as if it's in the next room. My partner comes over to drop off a cheque (yeah!) and gets out of her car and stands in the middle of the street (she's 6' tall with red spikey hair) and starts doing an ethnic dance to the music. They immediately turned it down.

Roz

May 13, 2010 10:25 AM  
Blogger David said...

Video required, Roz!

May 13, 2010 11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wish I had one.

May 13, 2010 11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you read the linked "Totally tasteless" article. Check out how the chick spells her name. She needs to read an earlier blog entry.

Rawz

May 13, 2010 11:36 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I'm sorry. I just fell over. Roz went to one of my links. Usually she just complains that I link stuff that's 'too long and too hard to read'.

Oh, and loving the visual of Pat dancing in the street...

May 13, 2010 11:37 AM  
Blogger David said...

Affectation (to Rawz's post) is a blight of those screaming for attention!

May 13, 2010 11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

David:
I don't even know what that means. once more in english.

Rawz

May 13, 2010 11:49 AM  
Blogger David said...

I waz hoping to avoid thiss...

She spells her name Lyz... I'm pretty sure that her given name is unlikely to have been spelled that way. Affectation -- speech or conduct not natural to oneself.

Airs and graces, making herself appear to be something more than she likely is -- the fact that she found the jelly thingie speaks volumes. Like the woman who found a partial digit in her fast food chili...

Anyway... you started it!

Dayfit

May 13, 2010 11:57 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Bur are you the only Dayfit in the village?

May 13, 2010 11:59 AM  
Blogger David said...

Absolutely! I have been advised, more than once, that I won the village idiot election by acclamation.

May 13, 2010 12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guess he doesn't watch Little Britain.

Rawz

p.s. thanks for the clarification.

May 13, 2010 12:11 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

I love Little Britain. I want to act like Ann, running around in my pink cardigan, throwing poop at people and screeching "EEEE! EEEE! EEEE!"

May 13, 2010 1:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I miss Little Britain.

Mash potatoe foot massage at 3 pm anyone?

May 13, 2010 2:14 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

Oh yeah?

I got a crack in my arse that wont heal!

DJW

May 15, 2010 9:34 AM  

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