June 25, 2010

Make It Stop

Take yer flags off yer damn cars. I mean it. If I see one more waving stupid flag fluttering from your car, I'm going to scream.

I just wrestled home along congested streets/highways. I just watched an idiot in a Fusion lock up his breaks to avoid slamming into the rear of a car, predictably stopped at a red light, because the man driving was pointing and arguing with his passenger about which flag had just gone by. I kid you not. I could see them pointing and trying to decide if Switzerland was still in the Cup, or if the Red Cross had fielded a team, and he came thisclose to causing a collision.

I do not like ornamentation of any kind on a car. Do not put deer antlers on your car at Christmas. Do not wrap it up like a present. A car is a means of transportation. I don't care if you have babies on board, I think we all want our troops home, and I'm sure everyone would like to end breast cancer. You decorate your homes, your self, and a Christmas tree. You do not decorate cars.

I also hate those spinny wheels covers. I don't like pompoms on antennas. Yes, I am a raving madwoman at the moment, but I've just driven for 45 minutes and seen 45 minutes of rush hour traffic distracted by silly accoutrements. Say that with a French accent; that's how I wrote it.

I hope your team wins. I really do. Go wild, go crazy, buy a t-shirt, run naked down the street. But take the silly flags off your cars and hang 'em in your garage or in your kid's room. People in cars are distracted by enough crap these days; don't give someone another reason to run into you, or anyone else.


Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Allow me to be the first to add to your general state of pissiness; accouterments??? Does this have something to do with cooties -- regardless of the affected accent used?

June 25, 2010 5:43 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I fixed it. Be quiet.

June 25, 2010 5:49 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Be quiet? Wow... relatively civilized for you, I must say. Been nipping at the box o' draft wine again already?

I too hate those flags. For many reasons including yours. A long, long time agao in a galaxy far, far away I was approached by an Israeli business man who wanted to import them -- from Israel. Few Mom and Pop outlets would consider them; fewer still when the country of origin was revealed. And as far as larger retailers went, their reaction was that shelf space could be purchased for a reasonable (their word) fee.

And 'spinny wheels covers'? I was at a charity golf tournament the other day finishing off an interview with Joe Carter. Charles Barkley, the former NBA star was there; his golf cart had been customized with the spinning rims!

June 25, 2010 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read accoutrements with a french accent. We must be related. To whomever wants to run down the street naked, please keep to your own neighbourhood as running down a main street naked would be quite distracting. to me.


and I would definitely look, doesn't matter how ugly or good looking you are, I would look.

June 25, 2010 8:09 PM  
Blogger Webgod Jeff said...

Next time I go to Lorraine's I'm going to be naked, with a flag, and...ahem, spinny wheels

June 25, 2010 8:44 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Okay, that was good for wine on the keyboard....

But mostly because Webgod and I are up for a beering soon....

June 25, 2010 8:47 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Almost qualifies for a Friday rant.
I am a World Cup enthusiast but even I won't deface my car with a flag. Besides everyone knows Brazil will win. Glad to see you back from Nova Scotia, just in time for G20 mania!

June 25, 2010 8:57 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

Hailing from a small town and going back a few years I can remember when the only acceptable hood ornament was a deer draped over the hood in November.
BTW: Is it just me or does the Brazilian flag look like something Marvin the martian would wave?

June 25, 2010 9:17 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Roz, no matter what, we would all likely cop a peek. Human nature. Even WGJ and his spinny weels. Begs the question; just how would said flag be attached to his bod?

June 26, 2010 10:00 AM  
Anonymous B1 said...

"how would said flag be attached to his bod?"

To his pole, no doubt.

I'm with Lorraine on the flag stuff. It happens around here in SouWestO a lot, especially with hockey fans. Folks, I don't give a continental what team you support. Give it a rest.

June 26, 2010 11:54 AM  
Blogger Webgod Jeff said...

I was thinking about just holding the flag in my hand, if that's ok with you pervs...

June 27, 2010 9:37 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Distractions? OK, here goes... a 23 year year old nephew was in his car driving yesterday afternoon. His Mom calls him; as is their wont these days, they get into an argument. Idiot nephew is T-boned at an intersection. Not hurt. Car totalled (fourth major accident involving a car in a year). He's taken to hospital via ambulance and is still spewing vitriol at his Mother while paramedics attempt to 'disarm' him. Mom now blames herself for almost killing her son... This man-child is in serious need of professional help yet his parents continue to let things slide as they write one cheque after another. Major enabling. Sad but true.

June 29, 2010 10:20 AM  

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