July 18, 2010

...or maybe just like Lorraine Sommerfeld

When you trip over an article like this one, which tells you about a new website that purports to be able to analyze who you write like, you know there are certain types who won't be able to leave it alone.

Yes, me. Developed by Dmitry Chestnykh (whose parents could have bought just a few more vowels, no?), you simply plug in a sample of your writing, and it spits whose style you most closely resemble. As a writer, something like this is just a pileup waiting to happen. Like I don't have enough ways to waste time.

But in the spirit of research, I randomly plugged in a few paragraphs of a recent column. It reported back that my style is closest to Dan Brown. I wiped a tear from my eye. Oh my. While I covet his Angel & Demon sized bank account, his writing style is renowned for all the wrong reasons. Stupid website.

I plugged in another sample, from another column. Now I write like Stephen King. Hmmm. Not bad. It only made sense to plug in another sample. Hey, I have hundreds. This time, Margaret Atwood's name flipped up. Interesting. The problem now of course, is that I can't even play two out of three. It's like playing rock, paper, scissors, wood, cement, knife, ice and glass. Where does it end. One more sample. One more name: Cory Doctorow.

I stopped here. I have work to do. But if someone has time to kill, let me know if I start sounding like Shakespeare.


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Anonymous buzzwhack said...

My sample read, I write like Stephanie Meyer, "great job!" want to write even better? read Stephen King's On Writing.Stephanie Meyer writes like a constipated teenager.I'm insulted.

July 18, 2010 4:54 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

I write like Cro-Magnon Man.

July 18, 2010 6:41 PM  
Blogger Webgod Jeff said...

I write like a sarcastic SOB. So wrong...

July 18, 2010 7:54 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Apparently I write like Maggie, Lorraine's cat!

Actually, one sample was David Foster Wallace and a secod yielded James Fenimore Cooper.

I need to talk to a few editors...

July 19, 2010 9:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I write like Cory Doctorow. Who in the hell is Cory Doctorow?

sounds painful


July 19, 2010 10:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got a David Foster Wallace and then Stephen King.
I think I'll stick with finance.

July 19, 2010 10:50 AM  
Anonymous Alysha said...

Well the good news is, it is consistent. I put the same sample in twice and got Cory Doctorow both times. Bad news is when I put the other half of the same blog post in, I get Stephen King. Apparently I change between paragraphs.

July 19, 2010 11:16 AM  
Anonymous B1 said...

Tried earlier to leave a comment, but it didn't register. So, I'll try again.

I was going to send you that link myself. It is a primo time-waster. But fun.

Plugged in several pieces of my crapola and came up with Ursula K Leguin (twice); Cory Doctorow (twice); David Foster Wallace (once); Stephen King (once); and Kurt Vonnegut (once).

With such a disparity in responses, I sort of have to question the underlying algorithm.

(And I still think you write like Dorothy Parker.)

July 19, 2010 11:40 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Mine came back some Japanese guy named Doo Fuss. I can only aspire to write like you. But I bet I can run laps around you.

July 19, 2010 4:48 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

I too write like Mr. King, appearantly.

...or does he write like me?


July 22, 2010 11:35 AM  
Blogger DJW said...

Speaking of writing, hows the book coming?


July 22, 2010 11:40 AM  

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