August 5, 2010


Want to Feel Smart?

You need to work with me here. I must be reading this piece all wrong, because I'm still shaking my head so hard the cats are looking at me funny.

An Ohio woman discovered on Facebook that her husband was not just cheating on her, but he had actually married another woman. At Walt Disney World. He was dressed as Prince Charming, the woman was Sleeping Beauty and they had footman. First, there are so many things wrong with this. Forget the lying. Grown people get married dressed as Prince Charming and Sleeping Beauty? For real? Really? Gaaaaaah. This would offend me more than a husband fooling around on me. Adultery is one thing; ludicrous bad taste is insurmountable.

But wait. It gets better. The woman had her suspicions. Lots of them. Lots of 'business trips' and stuff like that. The puke left the day she brought their kid home from the hospital. Yeah, that's the guy to have kids with. Anyway she and a friend went there. Confronted the Extra Woman. Or Other Woman. Whatever. Told her he was married, and that they had a child. Other Woman apparently shrugs (!) and says 'but we're getting married'. Produces a registry for Target to prove it. Now, Target is like Zellers. This ditz has fallen for a married guy who abandons his child, dresses like Prince Charming and shops at Target. Now, I like Target just fine. But nothing screams 'let's celebrate our spechul day' by cruising the aisles snapping up shower curtains and foot powder.

Now, Wife The First as peeved. So she hopped onto Facebook to do some sleuthing. How I love that word. Sure enough, played out for all to see (people really need to stop Facebooking; I'm embarrassed for you - truly) was the romance of these two people. She confronted him. And he promised not to go through with the wedding. Aw. Whadda peach.

Because this seemed like a reasonable footing to stay married to Prince Charming, she believed him. Then she Facebooked some more (see? it's not a good thing) and found out he had gone through with the marriage. Then she started divorce proceedings.

How big of a cluestick do you have to be smacked upside the head with? Your husband has been acting all single, and you don't divorce him until the seven dwarfs show up? Are you kidding me?

The original two were married at some Italian resort place. This guy is big on destination weddings, it appears. He claims it was not a real wedding. My sister Gilly got married somewhere that starts with a 'B' and was hot and sandy; if she's not really married, she better tell me so I can take back my gift.

Anyway, Prince Charming has actually stolen his two sons from his wife, and this is all now in the courts. Which is not funny at all.

Wife One says she can only see her sons on Facebook now. Want to know how it ends up? Well, check your updates. I'm sure it will all be there.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like Jerry Springer to me. Wasn't the Disney wedding a real one? I thought that he was all ready married to #2 before the confrontation. People are so stupid.

August 05, 2010 11:42 AM  
Anonymous B1 said...

Or as they say on Fark.com, "The aristocrats".

August 05, 2010 12:28 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

"Occupational therapist", that pretty much sums it up for me when it comes to discussing intelligence.

August 05, 2010 12:35 PM  
Blogger Webgod Jeff said...

Story aside, because all involved are idiots, I have a couple of issues...

You are anti Walmart but pro Target?

People need to stop "Facebooking" but, you are on Facebook?

What the hell?

August 05, 2010 1:47 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Yes, I am anti Wal-Mart.

Yes, I have a Facebook account. That I haven't opened in months and months. I can't remember my password. And I think I have about 20 'friends'. Nobody has wondered where I am.

August 05, 2010 1:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is just plain sick...

August 05, 2010 5:21 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I do what I can...

August 05, 2010 5:23 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Second time around got married in Vegas. Had to go to county court house to get a license. No one asked for proof if I was divorced from the woman formerly known as OmemeeOzzie...(I am/was as my financial statements from back then can attest... accountant took pity on me and never charged me for his time throughout the proceedings. Good man. Big heart. He died a few weeks back, I'm afraid.

Anyway, does this mean that my second marriage was fake, too?

If I had a choice, Id rather state my first one was not kosher; number 2 is a Mulligan.

August 05, 2010 5:43 PM  
Blogger Janie said...

This was a jaw dropper on too many levels, but I think it says more about the women than it does about the man. Both seem willing to overlook the obvious in order to have the "fairy tale," which starts with those wedding choices.

That she was chasing him down to prove what she already knew (he's a jerk) instead of booting his butt out the door is mind boggling.

Do you know you can register at Home Depot? Now there's a place to get some useful gifts.

August 08, 2010 10:16 AM  

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