September 13, 2010

Because a Divorce Takes So Damned Long...

A Pennsylvania woman is on trial for shooting her husband in Newfoundland four years ago. She thought he was a bear.

I dug around through several reports, which all seemed so antiseptic to me. Hunting trip, blah, blah, blah, guide and the Mister heading back to the truck, blah, blah, blah, the Missus takes aim, blah, blah, blah, dead as a dodo, hysterics, blah, blah, blah.

It's the blah, blah, blahs that are always the best part, and most reports left them out. So, I'll bring them to you. It would seem the lovely widow is now shacked up with the dead man's brother. Blah, blah, blah, indeed.

I was nosing along through the stories, searching for a truffle of some decent nosybody bits, and found them. Seems Mary Beth Harshbarger mistook Mark Harshbarger for a bear, and killed him dead. I thought hunters were supposed to wear orange vests. Especially big, bearded guys. Maybe Mark was wearing camo. I myself have a strange - and admittedly unattractive - devotion to camo. I love it. I look like an idiot. And I appreciate that if I wear it in the woods I might get shot, so I mostly just wear it to drive around and go grocery shopping.

The little item about the brother-in-law is buried in some accounts. It appears they are all back in Newfoundland for the trial, and Barry Harshbarger is there too. The brother. The father, Leonard Harshbarger hasn't spoken to his surviving son and daughter-in-law since the shooting. It seems the Harshbargers know something the judge doesn't. Mostly, I just like saying 'Harshbarger'.

Barry Harshbarger admitted that while in town for the trial, he hoped to get some bear hunting in.

I'm gonna say that if there is a Mrs. Barry Harshbarger, she best not go along.

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Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Just finished writing a piece on hunting in Ontario, a topic that until now I blissfully knew very little; it's a huge business.

Everyone loves to hunt, apparently -- especially Dick Cheney who will shoot you in the face if you dare cross him -- regardless of whether you wear the ubiquitous orange vest or not. "He looked like a quail, yer honor..."

Hunting has no appeal to me. I'm hard-pressed to squish spiders, never mind not bathing for days, wearing the same clothes and rolling around in mud, rancid blood and guts -- an animal's, not a now rare Harshbarger mammal, that is.

"Halt, BANG! or I'll shoot!"

September 13, 2010 11:14 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

I have copied this to a friend whose wife's name is also Mary Beth. You never know what genetic coding comes with a name.

Just in case.

September 13, 2010 2:59 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

I love the part where it says "until then, the day had been uneventful."

Guess that sure changed in a hurry, huh?

September 13, 2010 3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I keep reading the last name as Harshbanger. You never know, might be true...


September 13, 2010 4:47 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Thanks, as always, to Roz, for keeping it tasteful.

September 13, 2010 5:36 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

In fairness to Roz, I'm willing to be several folks saw this, too -- like as not including Ms. S. herself. Otherwise, why would this item be part of her body of work for the world to see and snigger...?

September 13, 2010 5:51 PM  
Anonymous joanne at frutto della passione said...

I'm not wearing my glasses, so I keep reading Hashburger. Great, now I'm hungry.

September 13, 2010 6:01 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

See, I really figured with a name like that, maybe she just wanted a change.

Instead, she took up with ol' Barry.

Everyone should do what I did. Just stick with Sommerfeld.

September 13, 2010 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought everyone saw it that way. I'm just honest enough to say it.


p.s. my word verification is "untsa". Do what you will with that!

September 13, 2010 7:59 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Hey look, I have an identity! WGJ just gave me a private tutorial.

September 14, 2010 11:56 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Mark my words. She will now be looking for a way to continue posting *some* things anonymously.

Like we don't know it's her anyway.

Thank you, Webgod. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

September 14, 2010 12:00 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

that, actually, was one of my first thoughts. in the words of some Little Britain dude, "you know too much".

nice biker chick pic - is that new or did I just notice it?

September 14, 2010 12:05 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Sisters can and do say the cattiest things!

I believe that I can and will arrange to sell tickets to this one...

September 14, 2010 12:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm in! How much for the tickets???


September 14, 2010 3:44 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

Where's Gilly?

September 17, 2010 11:29 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

probably off doing something useful, unlike the rest of us. heh, heh.

September 17, 2010 11:58 AM  
Blogger DJW said...

...this just in...

NOT Guilty!!!...

Going away with MDB this weekend, hopefully no where near bear country.

If you dont hear from me, send out a search party for me.

And Gilly.


October 01, 2010 12:09 PM  

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