September 24, 2010


Fruit Flies spit spit spit

I'm sure it started with a banana peel. It always does.

Fruit flies everywhere. Little buggers flit around all day, and then they do the unthinkable: they land in my wine. The only thing that is more dangerous than messing with my wine is messing with my morning paper. Good thing those two things don't happen at the same time of day. Unless it's been an extraordinary night. And I can't remember the last time that happened.

Anyway.

Fruit flies. Pesky. Little. And apparently, every one of their nights is extraordinary, because they are reproducing at a lively clip. They follow me around (no doubt because I'm clutching a glass of wine wherever I go), but I'm sick of picking their little bodies off the end of my tongue, or skewering them out of my glass.

A few years back, I went to Lee Valley. I love Lee Valley. They have awesome stuff. My garlic masher thingee came from there. It's twisty, and works amazingly well, and then goes into the dishwasher. And their cloth grocery bags are fabulous. If they're reading this, send me some free stuff. Anyway. I bought some guaranteed fruit fly traps there a few years ago. And they worked. Little cone things the flies go into, and get lost. Like me in that tunnel in Switzerland one time. After a mile or two, I just started crying.

The only thing is that they cost bucks. You really have to be tired of picking bodies off your tongue to invest. And I'm not there. Yet. But sitting here fending them off, I remembered another stellar way to get rid of them. I uncapped the bottle on the counter of the wine I popped the other night but didn't finish. Yes, you read that right. I didn't finish it. There's a few inches of a decent but cheap red sitting here.

I'm watching the fruit flies do a little mid-air braking, and dive into the bottle. Then, like me in that tunnel, they get lost and can't get out. I think I hear them crying.

I remember reading a Martha Stewart tip for leftover wine one time. She said to freeze it in ice cube trays for future cooking. Hahahahahhaaa. Leftover wine. Future cooking. God, if they hadn't put her in jail for insider trading, they could have done it for that.

But, sorry Lee Valley. It is easier to leave an inch of wine in the bottom of the bottle to battle the fruit flies. And cheaper to, in this house. Actually, maybe in the morning I should check the wine. Enough fruit flies might be a stew...

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11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine - also at Lee Valley, there is a glass wasp trap. Put a little apple juice in it, and presto, cheap fruit fly trap. Of course, you have to empty out the apple juice/fruit fly mixture, but ...

September 24, 2010 7:30 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Ooooh, so THAT'S what the pile of grey fuzz in the beer bottle I left on the counter last week was. Good thing I didn't drink it. Once they land in it, they're unrecognizable. I'm sure that quote. " we tried pulling him out but he kept jumping back in" applied to every one of them. It'd would apply to me, come to think of it. In fact, may as well be my epitaph.

September 24, 2010 7:52 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

Methinks the fruit flies can't find the way out 'cuz they are snoggered. I mean, how much would it take for a fruit fly?

Reminds me of my Dad pulling a fly out of his beer, and commanding the fly to "Spit it out!"

DJW...missing Gilly

(ROZ...my word is 'nishiese'...is that a language or a condition?)

September 24, 2010 9:20 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Love the idea, but leftover wine? In this house? Not gonna happen. Unless I 'borrow' some Manischewitz from my mother-in-law...

September 25, 2010 12:34 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Inquiring minds need to know what happened to the old traps? Do they not last longer than a couple of years? Or does it work the same way a friend's car purchases worked... "if the ashtray's full, it's time for a new car."

I think you CAN empty them out.

September 26, 2010 8:53 AM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

My fruit fly trap: A an old mason jar with a piece of banana or pineapple in it. Cover the lid tightly with Saran wrap (use elastics or an old lid and poke a couple of small hole in the wrap with a pin. The little buggers can get in but can't get out.

September 26, 2010 9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bravo Lorraine for having the fortitude to not be fully fortified and leaving a little in the bottom for others. It's kind of like leaving a little water in the cup so the next guy can prime the well pump!!
What always kind of groses me out to think that we happily munch away on the bananas that come pre-laced with eggs and larva. EEEEEWWWWWW

September 26, 2010 9:20 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I have asked Sheryl to please leave a dribble of wine in a bottle later today so we may attempt to trap the little buggers. Rsponse: you want me to share my wine with those little
@#$%&s?

An as always, I ask for so little.

September 26, 2010 2:10 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Here is the fool proof solution (which I have shared with my sister but obviously she had been into her fruit fly remedy and forgets)

Put about 1/4 cup of apple cider vinegar and a drop of dish soap into a small container. I call it the swimming pool. It's fun too.

September 27, 2010 10:47 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Yeah, but at least in a red wine bottle I can't see the little buggers drown attempting the breaststroke...

September 28, 2010 1:53 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

And the dregs of wine in the bottle appear to be doing the trick in our kitchen. Tons of ripening tomatos of all shapes, sizes and varieties - same thing with peppers.

Sheryl had been looking for a piece of cheesecloth today... mentioned something about straining the wee things.

September 28, 2010 2:06 PM  

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