October 14, 2010

Off To New Hamster...

I'll be in beautiful New Hampshire this weekend at a pumpkin festival.

Yes, a pumpkin festival. A friend of mine, Sarah Spykman, has just started a column with her paper there, the Sentinel (Google her; I can't find the link - I'm beat, and still packing). Anyway, the invite was too good to turn down, so I'm hopping over the border to visit and sit around a campfire and drink wine.

Talk amongst yourselves. Webgod Jeff is in Algonquin, probably freezing his butt off.

So with nobody to monitor, you can all get really bad.

Roz, watch it. I know where you live.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You left Roz in charge?


Is this a sign of the forthcoming apocolypse?

October 15, 2010 6:58 AM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

WOOT! YEEEE-HAW! PUMPKINING WITH LORRAINE! (Thanks for the loan of your sister, Roz.)

October 15, 2010 8:00 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Congrats to Sarah on your new column. Better juice up the Sheriff with some home-brew Pumpkin hooch (the three year old stuff) because with Lorraine there, there's likely to be trouble. And I'd hate for your first column to have to be about your friend, The Canadian, who blew up the pumpkin patch.

I will be in Barbados. We will see who has the most fun.

October 15, 2010 2:45 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...


Sounds just a little too Deliverance for my tastes...

October 15, 2010 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

neener, neener, neener, neener, nee (that's supposed to sounds banjo-esque)

Sarah, don't give her too much wine or she'll really start to whine.

So, no WGJ, that means we can use bad words and everything. How about we blab about commercials on TV that make you twitch. I have a couple that are making me nuts lately. There's that stupid woman from Montreal ("big hair, big boobs") who sells real estate and likes to pat herself on the back and talk about how wonderful she is (I have to turn to another station when she comes on). Then there's another one for Buckley's Cold and Phlem (sp?) with a real woman with a little phlem cannon inside (that one makes me chuckle,then I feel kind of barfy).

October 15, 2010 3:18 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Hey I could use me some of that anti-phlegm stuff. I've been horking up... oh sorry... didn't mean to get you all barfy. But trust me, every now and then I could spit one a mile.

How about all those ones for Viagra with the Oh-Too-Cute couples that flood their house, or burn it down, or both because they're too busy trying to figure out how to keep Woody down after four hours? They're married, right? Give me a break.

Whatever happened to realism in advertising?

October 15, 2010 4:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL....Tatiana....so proud of her big boobs and big hair but so brutally annoying. I watched her show on HGTV for about 15 minutes and couldn't take it any more. WAs in Montreal a few weeks ago and saw one of billboards. I hate real estate agents as it is but she would make me run the other way.

October 15, 2010 6:57 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

yeah, that's her name, Tatiana. Sounds affected to me. I too, being an HGTV junkie tried to watch it and ran screaming. Her head is so big we should see her floating over T.O. soon. Oh, and thanks for the spelling lesson on phlegm, hope you don't hork all over those poor bajans.

October 16, 2010 8:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bit of HGTV junkie myself. For a change we move over to Food Network. Restaurant Makeover is starting to get pretty tired as the formula is so strict but it drives me crazy that the designer and the chef are the only ones there at the end getting all the praise and the thanks when it is Igor that has been up all night, all week getting it done and just gets shit on all the time and isn't there when the spotlight comes out.

October 16, 2010 2:30 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

no kidding about Restaurant Makeover. Poor Igor. Sometimes the results look a little slap-dash to use one of mother's phrases. Let's get Lorraine's blog up to 100 comments and then she'll think we don't need her anymore. I'm the evil sister.

October 16, 2010 4:14 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

"stupid woman, big hair, big boobs, is into real estate?"Would you mind giving Tatiana a last name? I'd like to have a look online and see what the big deal is.

October 16, 2010 7:27 PM  
Anonymous Sarah said...

I dragged Lorraine around all day yesterday. A day that included Vermont hippies, groovy ethnic booth food (which we ate), pumpkin carving and more food, a stroll through the Pumpkin Festival (think scaffolding and thousands of jack-o-lanterns), cartoons at the Colonial Theater, festival booth food (which we did not eat), wine, more wine and snacks, a bonfire, snacks, gin... I forget after that... Anyway, now that I've dunked her in a vat of enough New England charm to make her cheeks are glow like freshly picked apples (though that may be the gin), I'm going to send her back to you. (Oh, don't forget to ask her about the fate of her jack-o-lantern... someone stole it. She was very proud.)

October 17, 2010 8:15 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

hey buzzy,

the show is called Property Shop and the twit is named Tatiana. If you watch the tube, you may have seen her commercials where she tells you how fabulous she is. sorry we were talking hgtv short hand.

October 17, 2010 11:23 AM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I saw her pics online. Tatiana Londono is it? She looks like a permed version of Lorraine with a bad nose job.I guess those chemicals they use in perms and hair dyes sink beyond the roots a bit?Lorraine can beat her in arm wrestling.Where am I going with this? Umm, I guess back to the fridge to have another beer. If you're reading this Lorraine, please don't kill me.

October 17, 2010 2:21 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Buzz... run, do not walk. Leave town now. You need not bother to pack a bag.

Even if LS stuck her finger in an electric socket and ended up with a Sideshow Bob 'do, she could not resemble this egotistical woman-thing.

I have 'known' too many women 'like' Tatiana over the years and, she is an individual for whom the mould MUST be broken.

October 17, 2010 2:47 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I'm back. Nice to see I was so missed.

I had fun. Lots and lots of fun. I'd tell you about it, but it looks like Sarah already did. Bitch.

I carved a pumpkin. I did a cat. Someone stole it. Of nearly 23,000 jack-o-lanterns, only mine was stolen.

That's not quite true, but I like telling it that way.

October 17, 2010 5:26 PM  
Anonymous PJ said...

Lorraine said the 'B' word! WebGod Jeff shouldn't you clean thi... Oh wait he's in Algonquin getting eaten by wolves isn't he? O.K. never mind. Welcome back Lorraine! Glad to see you survived hippies and pumpkins.

October 17, 2010 8:43 PM  
Blogger Webgod Jeff said...

It's her blog. She can say what she wants.

October 17, 2010 10:24 PM  
Anonymous PJ said...

Hey WGJ! Glad to see the wolves didn't getcha! Yeah I know it's her blog and she can say what she wants. It wouldn't make much sense otherwise. I was just funnin....

October 18, 2010 4:02 PM  

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