November 24, 2010

My Gene Pool

"Oh, my god, I've just discovered on-line shopping," said my sister Roz. No, not 5 years ago, this morning.
"Be careful, it's addictive," I warned her. Nobody - I mean, nobody - can get more worked up over a pair of darling boots from Zappos or Aldo then I can. Nobody.
"I was actually cheering for myself when I clicked 'add to cart'," said my moronic sister. Well, it's not like rescuing men from a mine shaft after 3 months, but it is a step in the right direction.

Roz works at home, like I do. We must carefully plan our fun. She is now going to stare out her front window waiting for the Canpar truck.

I finally made Christer get up. He's been job hunting, though not very effectively if you ask me. Anyway. I barked at him, and started heading down the stairs.
"Wait! Mom! I had an awful dream," he told me. He stood in the hallway in his shorts, eyes wide, hair on standing on end.
"No, it' wasn't a dream. You really did get a bad haircut," I told him.
"No! Wait! I was in this room, and S Club 7 was there."

Okay, S Club 7 was a British teenage group. 7 boys and girls, late teens, put out pop records and had a bad TV show the kids used to watch a decade ago. That's the only reason I knew who they were.
"So, S Club 7 was there, and they were like, having an orgy." I stared at my son. Why do kids think parents want to know these things?
"No, no, I wasn't in it. I was, like, the director." Oh, much better. My son doesn't partake in orgies, even in his dreams, he is just the director for a porno.
"Are you gonna blog about this?" he asked, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

No. Who would believe me?


Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Welcome to the 19th century, Roz.

November 24, 2010 3:55 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

She's full of crap I've been on line shopping for a couple of years now. I just had a bit of a frenzy buying myself presents today and she called me just as I finished getting my verified by visa thingymajigger. Ask her what else her darling offspring said to her last evening.

November 24, 2010 4:40 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

I'd ask, but she seems to think she controls everything that goes on around here. Including offspring (think about that word for a minute. Off Spring. Like "They just sprung off of me. Don't know how. Don't know when. Just... SPROING!!!") or at least what they say. It'll never make it's way to print.

Unless a sibling happens to let it drop. Nudge, nudge.

November 25, 2010 9:00 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

OK... will one of the TS dish? C'mon... living life vicariously here...

November 29, 2010 3:52 PM  

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