December 8, 2010

Gonna Go Take a Bath With Johnny Depp

I was in Shoppers yesterday, and as I stood at the check out watching my lady scan a multitude of things I will not admit to here, I glanced at the magazine rack. Before my divorce, I subscribed to tons of magazines. After the divorce, the only one I still read was Vanity Fair. Yes, I know, I know. Parts of it are unbearable; but they have some fabulous writers who track people falling off of mountains, or planes colliding in midair. And Christopher Hitchens. And many of their pullings apart of people like John McCain are awesome. I like European scandals; I don't give a crap how Lindsay is doing in rehab. Sorry. I'm harsh.

Back on topic. Johnny Depp was staring at me. Yes, me. I scooted over and grabbed a copy, and told my lady "Johnny is going home with me."

She sighed, and said "oh, yes.". There was a line up behind me. I kid you not. Every woman from 25 to 70 sighed at the same time. I don't know what it is, but Johnny Depp is That Guy.

I also bought bubble bath.


Anonymous Sarah said...

I had that Vanity Fair first! He's mine!

December 08, 2010 7:13 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

He also appeared on the July 2009issue of VF, the one where he is interviewed on his own island.I love the Dominick Dunne stories and special star flame out articles. My Farrah Fawcett memorial issue is enshrined.

December 08, 2010 8:21 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Hitchins? I forgot that you also revere another English chain-smoker, Clarkson...

December 08, 2010 10:01 PM  
Anonymous Back to Roz said...

can't wait. I get her sloppy seconds - Johnny Depp after the bath.

December 09, 2010 8:39 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Thought this was kinda family-oriented? Sorry, ladies but to most men, Depp and Pitt present themselves as two scuzzy individuals. Do not see the attraction. At least three of my four sisters share your unnatural thing for Depp.

So explain what it is that many women find so attractive?

December 09, 2010 8:45 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Pitt I don't get. Depp I do. Something about Captain Jack Sparrow sends me into fits of... well... something.

Nice to see you back to normal, Roz. Blue just wasn't you.

"fetive" is my word. Anyone selling an "s"?

December 09, 2010 1:10 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

normal. not something I'm used to being called.

December 09, 2010 1:16 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

With good reason.

December 09, 2010 1:17 PM  
Anonymous Ker said...

If you like Captain Jack Sparrow, you have to watch him in Terri Clark's video of "Girls Lie Too" :)
Merry Christmas ladies!

December 09, 2010 1:35 PM  
Blogger Lucywestie said...

Not a great fan of his acting. But in his personal life I think he does show a bit of class. I liked the story from a few weeks ago when he was filming in London,UK [which right now is pretty similar to that other snowbound London in Ontario].
Anyway, a 10 yr old girl wrote a letter to him saying that they were pirates or some other rubbish. Well he turned up at the school and met the girl and her class. Not many actors will go out of their way to do that. Plus from what I understand he lives in France and lives a very quiet life with his wife and kids. Hardly ever any scandal or made up scandal in the rags on the guy.
So he gets my vote.
But when it comes to magazines in stores, I get really pissed off because apparently its not ok in Walmart etc to show Maxim magazine on the racks by the cash tills as its "sexist" but its perfectly ok to show rags like Cosmo that feature about 10 headlines on their front covers about "how to achieve the ultimate orgasm" or "erogenous zones for the dumb founded"..etc..geez..rant over..

December 09, 2010 1:40 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

So the unfortunate expression 'sloppy seconds' is normally one that would be attributed to descriptions of women coming from boorish men. However, if you choose to 'paint' Mr. Depp with that bruch, so be it; the image of him as some soiled and discarded Kleenex on a night stand is quite fitting.

My word verification? jewlly. My wife reminds me Hanakkuh ended last evening. I have a mental image of a heavily joweled Fagan-like character.

December 09, 2010 1:50 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Hmmm... bruch? Again, fingers and brain way out of co-ordination.

December 09, 2010 2:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm... Blue Roz or Normal Roz? I'll get back to that one.

Not too sure about JD. My "long suffering spouse" gets all melty eyed over him. Hasn't made me grow that lame Jack Sparrow beard though. Unlike the ski instructor / goatee episode a few years back. Anyways.....

Back to Roz, we need to see more of each of them on alternating days to make a true and accurate decision. K.

My word is seabler. I think I'll go take a cookie from an elf.

December 09, 2010 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw his movie Donnie Brasco last night with Al Capone on Netflix. He is really hot!

December 13, 2010 1:23 PM  

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