December 1, 2010

It's Beginning to Look...

First, a round of applause to Webgod for sprucing the joint up. I feel so festive!

I also feel hungry. Maggie and I decided to have a cinnamon raisin bagel this morning. I couldn't remember if she likes these, but apparently she does. She was hounding me for bites, which I fed her as I worked. She seemed to be a little piggier than usual, but I reasoned that I don't need an whole bagel to myself anyway. I just got up to get the mail, and saw a little trail of things on the floor. Fearing the worst (mouse story in a minute), I took a closer look. Little spit out raisins. Maggie doesn't like raisins, but she didn't let that stop her. She munched around them and spit them out.

I thought I'd seen the end of my mousecapades for awhile, but after 2 months without a peep - literally - I hauled a package of rye bread from the cupboard the other day and had a sprinkle of bread crumbs go everywhere. Careful chew marks in bagels, bread and English muffins. I almost want to cut the little bastards a deal: if they'll stay outside in the garage, I'll bring them something to eat every day. The cats are totally useless; JoJo wouldn't know a mouse if it bit her, and Maggie doesn't like them. Not sure why not; it's not like they have raisins in them.

Donald Trump
is all pissypants because the airport near his Florida club, Mir-a-Lardo, makes too much noise. Awwwwwww. Poor Donald. He claims its noise and air pollution. I happen to know he just doesn't like the way the down draft messes his coiffure.

What is going on in the world? A shark is gnawing on people in Egypt. Nipping off arms and legs and hands of Russian tourists, which is pretty nasty. A Supreme Court judge in B.C. has overturned some miserable old bugger's will, which left out his 4 daughters and handed all his stuff (real estate in Saskatchewan, a house and a violin collection (!))to his only son. Girls got a little pissy; judge overruled the will. Wouldn't you love to be with that family for Christmas dinner?

Weight Watchers will now let you eat all the fruit and veggies you want. Except potatoes, which means, well, it means that's a nonstarter in this house.

The leaked docs from Wikileaks from U.S. diplomats continue to make international politics look like a grade 8 girl's sleepover.

Canadian Members of Parliament are bitching about the size of their Christmas trees. Christmas trees? Really? If this is what is reported, can you imagine how boring and petty 'leaked' docs would be?

The 2012 version of the DSM (the diagnostic medical book)is turfing or getting rid of 5 of the ten existing personality disorders. The original ten are: antisocial, avoidant, borderline, dependent, histrionic, narcissistic, OCD, paranoid, schizoid, and schizoidtypal.

Being turfed? Histrionic, schizoid, paranoid, dependent, and narcissistic. I can hear the narcissists now, all up in arms that the spotlight will not be on them, them, them. You won't be able to hear them over the histrionics, of course, but I'm sure the dependents will be there to tell the paranoids that no, they're not imagining things. Lemme just say that scrubbing out the name doesn't make this stuff not exist. I'm all for paring down the 'everything is a disease' mentality that surrounds us, but I don't know that this is the place to start. Maybe calling things like shopping and boinking an addiction. Yeah, let's start there.

I'm going to go back to checking out what Rob Ford is doing on his first day in office as Toronto's mayor, other than throwing out everything that was done before he got there. We don't have to worry too much in Burlington. Nothing was done for the past four years except bitching and complaining.


Blogger DJW said...

...they seem to have your meds adjusted to juuuuust the right mix.



December 01, 2010 12:34 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Wikileaks sounds like something you should see a doctor for.

My "word" is "caticaso" which sounds like a quesadillo made of cats. sorry Maggie.

December 01, 2010 1:04 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Every time I sneeze, my Wikileaks.

December 01, 2010 1:34 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Sigh. You have kids, don't you?!

December 01, 2010 1:35 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Yup, three big'uns. It's all their fault.

December 01, 2010 1:49 PM  
Blogger Lucywestie said...

Ahhh..the mice saga continues. We are unable to cover our bbq because everytime we do I get a family of mice nesting in there. Currently everytime I open the lid the bbq smells like pee...its awful.
I read an article about those shark attacks. Apparently a dive instructor defended himself by blowing bubbles in the sharks face. Which he said sent it swimming away...sent it swimming right off to the woman that was bitten on the legs. I would like to try this method with door to door canvassers "excuse me sir, Im selling the Watchtower"..boom ..out comes my giant bowl of soapy water and hit them in the face with a mega may just work

December 01, 2010 2:20 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

The Donald has one of the noisest, stinkiest corporate aircraft that was ever made. And if the Egyptian sharks want to gnaw on a Russian or two, show me someone who'll put up an argument.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

Is there a 12 step program for boinkaholics? One step should do it. Although my word verification of kiese could set a good boinker off. "Velcome to my castle! Come a leetle closer! Now kiese me. Wahaha."

December 01, 2010 2:25 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I sometimes sit here reading all of your comments, and follow the path of how you get from here to there.

And mostly I can't find a logical path. Not at all. From any of you.

December 01, 2010 2:28 PM  
Anonymous PJ said...

You vant logic? Logic schmogic! You get stream of consciousness and you'll be happy for it.

my word is scabitin. Scab it in? I don vant to know.

December 01, 2010 3:51 PM  
Anonymous Alysha said...

If you put your household on a diet, you'd get charged with child endangerment on account of your children starving.

It was Ontario MPP men whining about the size of their trunks.

Histrionic personality disorder is the female version of narcissistic personality disorder and I assure you the latter still exists: See Rob Ford.

December 01, 2010 4:08 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Rob Ford? Got a Tweet from a friend earlier; someone left a package of gravy mix in his office.

I prefer 15-year old Demerara rum in my eggnog, please and thank you!

December 01, 2010 5:11 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Maggie is a lot smarter than she looks; raisins can kill animals.

RIght up there with chocolate and tomatos.

That is all.

December 01, 2010 5:20 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

And don't forget poinsettias.

Those things aren't just ugly; they're kitty killers.

December 01, 2010 5:22 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

One of our guys, Elvis, as a young cat would tear off the leaves, 'teeth' them and leave them strewn around the house. We no longer bring them into the house, unless they can go into our non-animal, 'cone of silence' rooms - the living room and dining room.

ELvis is like his namesake - eats everything, except he did not put on weight.

December 01, 2010 5:30 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

As long as he doesn't die on the toilet, I'd consider yourself ahead.

Maggie is eating Caesar salad right now.

December 01, 2010 5:39 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

(Oh, I just read that last one. 'A head' - get it? I kill myself.)

December 01, 2010 5:39 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Death is neither compulsory nor expected. Carry on.

December 01, 2010 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

I received a poinsettia yesterday. It's quite lovely. It'll be dead in about a week. I go on a site every year to see how to care for it but it never works. The point of my comment, according to this site (google: poinsettia care) is that they say they are not poisonous. I always thought they were too.

my word is "shylorke" is that like shylock with an accent?

December 02, 2010 1:59 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

No... I believe that it is blog speak for dork.

December 02, 2010 2:09 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Not, of course, to imply that is what you might be, you understand.

December 02, 2010 2:10 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

Site looks very festive. Nice going WGJ!

I think the shark eating the Russian tourists is just fair compensation for us eating vodka infused smoked salmon.

December 04, 2010 7:16 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Good new, bad news.

In one 'corner' we have long-suffering disciples; in the other, no disrespect, relative newcomers.

This is not the first Christmas Season that WGJ has dressed up Lorraine - so to speak.

You'll be praising the obviously talented fellow for inventing sliced bread which, as I undertsand it was popularised by a great great uncle of his, crazy Zebediah.

December 04, 2010 7:52 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Nursedude had been around a while. He's simply being polite. It's like every year when you put up the same old tree, you remark how lovely it is.

I may be the same old tree. But I am still lovely.

December 04, 2010 8:35 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

"If you were a twee, Lowaine, what would you be?"

December 04, 2010 9:24 AM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

"Traditions" like the twinkly lights and Lorraine's hat are nice at this time of year.

And simply being polite is much better than politely being called simple.

December 04, 2010 5:33 PM  

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