February 27, 2011

Best Bad Movie

With JoJo cramming herself into the small of my back as I work (she really is a wonderful heating pad), I took a break from word toil and flipped around the stations.

Score. Roadhouse. If there is a better bad movie in the world, I haven't seen it. I loooove this movie. The dialogue is horrendous; the music is worse; the acting is abysmal. I love it. Actually, Sam Elliott is in it, so I just watch him. He couldn't be bad. Not in anything. Remember Lifeguard? Sigh. I really, really like Sam Elliott. I was so peeved at True Grit for only putting him in a brief scene where he's standing at the top of the stairs outside the courtroom. I thought, 'awesome! Sam is here!'. But no, that was it. Sigh.

Anyway. Oh, sorry. Patrick Swayze just twisted a bad guy's foot at right angles. That must hurt. I can't wait till he pulls the heart out of the chest thing. This is cinematic magic, folks. Oscar always, always, always gets it wrong. But I guess we'll find that out tonight.

What goes best with bad movies? Terrible advertisements. I just saw one that puts all the antibiotic yogurts to shame. Or microbiotic. Whatever. This one is telling you that there is better living through science, which I admit to finding quite ponderable. But get this: they tell you they can add this thing to your diet that will go into your system and make you all spanky new and regular; clean your pipes, so to speak.

I actually believe in the science of this, because I already do it. It's the same as when we add this stuff to our septic tank at the cottage to make it work better.

Maggie just plunked on my lap. One cat in front, one behind. Roadhouse on. Fresh pot of tea, and I can sit here on my own personal cloud all day...


Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Hmmm, I know a lady who regularly indulges in a Roadhouse-Ghost movie duo. She's seriously ecstatic afterwards. I offered to buy her a DVD of Swayze's last TV effort and she attempted to strangle me. It was not pretty. Depriving someone of their love drug is potentially fatal. Just sayin'.

February 27, 2011 11:25 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

"Mars Attacks" has got to come a close second (if not even a nose ahead of,) Roadhouse. Every popular leading man of the 80s is in it (including Jack Nicholson... why he agreed to do this movie is completely beyond me) and every one of them gets whacked by the Martians (I capitalize "Martians" because they're quite cranky and I don't want them thinking that in my mind they are inferior.) Country music saves the world.

Epically awful. But I can't pull myself away when it comes on.


February 27, 2011 12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't talk about the best bad movies without mentioning Tremors! Kevin Bacon at his best.

February 27, 2011 1:43 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Honorable horrible movie mention - anything from the last ten years starring bloated, shoe-polish haired Steven Segal (sp?)

Glad you're back, Lorraine. We were all going into withdrawal.

February 27, 2011 6:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did we ever get the True Grit review?

February 27, 2011 6:39 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Unfortunately, I got confused and went into the wrong theatre. I saw something called True Grout, about a young girl searching for her father, a deadbeat plumber who took his crack and disappeared. Don't recommend it.

February 27, 2011 6:54 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Who took his crack and disappeared? You mean he went up his own arse? That'd be quite the hat trick...Like to see that so I can roll him out the door like an albino bowling ball..and take his wallet.

February 27, 2011 8:15 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Thought it was a throat-ripping thing...?

February 28, 2011 8:30 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Hey Buzz, I've got a new name for you: Yer

February 28, 2011 2:45 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Yer? I do not follow. Please enlighten me.

February 28, 2011 4:19 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Yeah, Roz. Enlighten us all.

February 28, 2011 5:25 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Instead of Buzzwhack I think Yerwhack might be more appropriate (in light of your bowling ball comment)

February 28, 2011 6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yup, Roadhouse is the best bad movie, the best part is Jeff Healey playing his blues.

March 03, 2011 8:12 PM  

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