February 10, 2011


Ari has breakfast every morning. It's usually toast, or a bagel. He rarely finishes it, so he puts his plate on the counter with half a whatever on it, slugs back his orange juice and heads off to school. Because the extra 8 inches to move that plate all the way into the dishwasher is just soul-crushingly impossible. Today, he had crumpets. Well, 1 and a half crumpets. The half sat on the counter, and I decided it would sit there until he gets home.

As I was working, Maggie the cat decided to take a stroll over to the crumpet. She is not allowed on the counter, but I am a lax parent. We all know that. Anyway. She proceeded to test out the crumpet, see if it might be preferable to the food in her bowl. Yup. Apparently so. I ignored her as she licked all the butter off the crumpet, left it on the plate, then daintily jumped down and went to have a nap.

Christopher came down an hour later. The plate was still on the counter, because I am still making my point.

"Is that still hot?" he asked me. Maggie is not the only scavenger in the family.
"Maggie just licked it all over," I informed him.
"Yeah, but is it still hot?"

If you're ever invited here for dinner, I totally understand if you turn us down.


Anonymous buzzwhack said...

LOL and gagging simultaneously. Thanks Lorraine, you made my day!

February 10, 2011 2:26 PM  
Blogger Lucywestie said...

Crumpets, oh good god, I've been living here 14 years now having moved from the UK and I still miss crumpets. I mean, I know you can buy them at Loblaws etc. but they just dont seem to toast up as dark as the ones I used to get in the UK. Then again, that could be my crappy toaster just being on the fritz.
To be honest though, I share my DQ cones in the summer with my dog, gross I know, but shes alot cleaner than most people I seem to come across!!
My word is "naducci", I think thats Nigerian version of Gucci, probably a scam and they want me to send money for odd looking purses

February 10, 2011 3:24 PM  
Anonymous PJ said...

I would come to your place for dinner but I trust you would understand if I brought my own meal there with me? Of course I would be sneezing because of the cats so maybe I won't take up your invitation after all. Thanks though....

February 10, 2011 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like our house. Boys will eat anything at this age. Dinner sounds good. Can I bring anything?

My word is eaftsmsi. Reads like a text message about leftover, unclaimed food availabel for the first in line.

February 11, 2011 7:52 AM  
Anonymous Alysha said...

Shit I wouldn't have told him she licked it. Funnier that way.

February 11, 2011 6:55 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

You say that like I haven't already played that game....

February 11, 2011 6:57 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

I think dinner is fine...I just don't to be there when you serve leftovers.

February 14, 2011 7:26 PM  

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