October 8, 2011


My gift to you on Thanksgiving

It's possible you've already read this if you're the type of person who has a site called Awkward Family Photos bookmarked for daily perusal. Roz. Oh, sorry, did I just rat out my sister? She can yell at me tomorrow in person, as we stuff fresh herbs from her garden up the wazoo of a turkey I just picked up. I also picked up 8 bottles of wine, but of course it's all about the turkey. Urp.

The link is to a list of demands from an anal retentive, uhm, person, regarding her family's Thanksgiving dinner. I love this stuff. I totally do. I'm so laid back about things like this, Roz and Gilly are always just a leetle bit terrified whenever I host a holiday. As they should be. The best dinners are the crazy ones, but Marney, in the link, is leaving nothing to chance. She's also the sister you'd like to drive a spike through (go on; you all have one) and this letter is fabulous. Fabulous.

What am I thankful for, you might be asking yourself? Or maybe not. Anyway. It's warm out, which is lovely. I have a Porsche Panamera Turbo S in the driveway, which also chases away the blues. The fridge is full, the boys are here, Maggie is on my lap and I changed all the beds today. Things could be worse. The fallout from my Crazy Column (I might trademark that) has been effusively positive and kind; I've been thankful for that. The next few months are busy, alternating between things like co-hosting the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Awards and speaking at mental health groups. And speaking at a Porsche event and grabbing a mic for fund raisers for mental health associations. If I wasn't nuts before, I would be now.

It's been a year of change. It's been wonderful and tough and I'm grateful for the same old things: wonderful kids, terrific sisters and a wall of friends who keep me anchored. I would never choose predictable, and it's a good thing: I've never had it yet. Many of you ask after the Poor Sod - he's well and we're friends and he's terrific with my sons. His own family has had a crisis this week, and I'm grateful they're getting through it. Good people. I wish them only the best.

I'm pushing ahead in new directions, working on a TV show that may or may not see the light of day. But don't bet against me;)

I took a friend of mine, Arlene, out last night. She was my high school English teacher and I adore her. It was a house party and we danced like fools, and I watched this wonderful woman flirt madly and shine after what has been a most challenging year. When I pulled up in the Panamera, she immediately let me know that "if the party was too quiet, we were blowing out of there to go pick up men". Little did she know that she is the party, and she doesn't need a car to prove it. There are people who are meant to have many incarnations, and she is most certainly one of them.

And so am I. The reinvention will continue, as always. To paraphrase something I heard somewhere, I bloom where I'm planted in my leather boots du jour.

Oh, and if you ever haul yourself to my table, you may bring anything you like, in any dish, with any spoon. Or nothing at all. I only want your humour and your humanity. And maybe a decent bottle of wine.

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6 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I'm just thankful I'm not the poor dog that had some jerk in a semi blow his air horn at him while he was doing a dump on someone's lawn. Have you ever seen a dog go straight up in the air two feet while crouching? The dog turned around and barked at the truck afterwards. I know how he felt!

October 08, 2011 8:20 PM  
Anonymous Zena said...

I've seen cats do that for no particular reason whatsoever. My kids have seen me do that for no particular reason whatsoever (their perception of "loud and unexpected" noises apparently differs vastly from my own...) But never a dog. I'm thankful for that visual - I'm still laughing.

I'm thankful for my "word" - one more apt could not be found in anticipation of the weekend's festivities: "bloator." How awesome is that?!

I'm thankful that I still have so very many things to be thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. It is a beautiful day...

October 08, 2011 11:14 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

We have a foster daughter who has been in hospital for over a week now. We have been teetering on the brink of having her undergo horrifically life-altering surgery but yesterday she suddenly started responding to the treatment her incredible doctor has been prescribing. The change has been nothing short of miraculous and she is a new girl. Surgery is now off the table.

Being thankful cannot even begin to describe how we, as a family, are feeling this weekend. Unlike the 20 pound turkey we will consume tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving to the wonderful group here, and especially the wazoo-stuffing author who runs the joint. When they say the inmates are running the asylum... it is this place of which they speak.

October 09, 2011 9:06 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I have a bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 that's been sitting beside our furnace, earmarked for you for quite some time!

You do find this outlet (blog) quite cathartic, don't you?

Merry Thanksgiving to the Sommerfeld family; we'll raise a glass to memories of Thanksgiving's past later today.

October 09, 2011 10:35 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Buzz wins the trophy for most touching Thanksgiving story.

As for 'bloater' I swear there is a tiny twisted person who gets to set those words. There is nothing random about it: he can see through our monitors. Quick. Go put some clothes on.

Chris - very happy about your girl's great news. Matters the most, doesn't it?

Hold that wine, David. Don't let Sheryl drink it. I'll get there eventually...

Roz will be here in a bit - we'll load in the turkey, then head to our favourite linen store on Ottawa Street in Hamilton. Everybody needs traditions!

October 09, 2011 11:05 AM  
Anonymous Padraig said...

What a wonderful Thanksgiving gift for Chris! And a Happy ditto to all of you.

BTW, a "bloater" is a smoked herring, kind of like a kipper, but smoked with all its innards intact, so it's really raunchy. Enjoy your turkey everyone!

October 09, 2011 12:48 PM  

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