October 17, 2011

Things you can learn by watching Judge Judy

1. There are many, many people who consider 'my income tax money' to be their only, or main, source of income.

2. There are many, many people who borrow money for bail against this income tax money.

3. There are many, many people who will lend their friends bail money. Just until they get their income tax money. They never get their money back. But they do seem to have a lot of friends who need bail money. I cannot recall any one of my friends asking me for bail money. After watching Judge Judy, I might pause before jumping in my car. Unless they're getting income tax money, soon.

4. If you are on disability benefits, the smartest thing you can possibly do (other than admit this to Judge Judy) is:
a) try to get training for a different kind of job.
b) go out and buy the biggest pickup truck you can find. On credit.

5. There are many, many people who believe 'aspiring rapper' is a career direction.

6. If the witness you are bringing to court has a tattoo on his face, leave him at home.

7. There are many, many people who believe a 5 year old computer, a torn up couch and some random dishes are worth $5,000 when they get thrown out of an apartment. Judge Judy does not agree.

8. If you are 20 years old, have 3 children, no husband and are living on welfare, the best thing you can do is:
a) get training for a job.
b) get pregnant.

9. It is awesome to watch people use big legal words in court. Especially when they have no clue what they mean. Awesome.

10. When you receive your student loan money, which impresses Judge Judy more?
a) when you pay your tuition.
b) when you buy your boyfriend, the aspiring rapper with the tattoo on his face, a Lincoln Navigator.



Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I once had a woman who worked for me call and asked for bail money for her husband who was a guest at the facility at Disco Road (no word of a lie - that is a street name in Etobicoke). The same husband that 12 hours before was arrested for beating her up and placing her in the care of emergency room staff.

October 17, 2011 5:57 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Yeah, but did she pay you back when she got her tax money?


October 17, 2011 5:59 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I believe that I need to make a phone all...

October 17, 2011 6:06 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

"The guy had a tattoo on his face..." LoL, I'm picturing John Candy from SCTV era doing his Harry's Sex Shop routine there. "I'm Harry, the guy with the snake on his face. Come on down to Harry's Sex Shop."
Judge Judy is hilarious in short doses until you learn these people are REAL...
Just had to add, my password is plittee. can't top that!

October 17, 2011 6:41 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I did make that phone call (not about the money) but to check in on this woman. A very capable, talented smart woman, she divorced the loser, got back together with him ended up in hospital for several weeks, remaried him and he died in a car wreck. She is presently not in any type of relationship and lives with a niece who seems to have a substance abuse problem.

Some people cannot, will not escape their life path.

We may all smugly chuckle at the wrecks of humanity we see on shows like Judy, Springer, Maury et al, but in reality, are some of us perhaps not a heartbeat away from similar circumstances?

Just saying...

October 18, 2011 9:02 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

'some of us'?

You've MET me.

October 18, 2011 9:06 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Yup, true enough.

And that door swings both ways!

October 18, 2011 9:09 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Hey, chisel. I represent that remark and I takes great offence. As a no-longer-aspiring rapper and rather, like, an accomplished rock star, your remarks are, like...

Whoa... was that a Ferrari?

October 18, 2011 9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cool new pic CB(ntf).

Highly entertaining topic to get the week started Lorraine.

Those are real people on that show? I thought it was like WWE.

My word is "glesones". "I shore lernt my glesones from Judge Judy"

October 18, 2011 10:40 AM  
Anonymous Roz said...

I always wondered who watched those low-rent, train wreck shows (apart from me)

p.s. thanks to Ommee for giving us blog fodder by catching up with an old train wreck (maybe I should have said car wreck). Was she, at least happy to hear from you?

October 19, 2011 10:57 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Happy? Hmmm... she did ask if I could lend her some money...

For the record, I declined.

October 19, 2011 2:23 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

"she did ask if I could lend her some money... for the record I declined."
That'd be a good move Omemee, we can't have the fair, lovely Lorraine going about getting a facial tattoo now can we? Although to be fair, Lorraine would choose something sweet and classy like a Meerkat. ( I know, I'm going straight down the chute after I die..)

October 19, 2011 3:58 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I believe that your journey will not be a lonely one, Buzz!

My word is real and a little bit disheartening... chemo

October 19, 2011 4:12 PM  
Anonymous Zena said...

Mine's "ploes."

As in "ploes remember to close the chute on your way down..."

October 19, 2011 4:55 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home