February 19, 2012


Emus and head injuries

I read about this elusive emu. Oh, how I love alliteration. Especially 'e's. Did it again. Anyhoo. A guy in Vermont bought 3 emus for his grandkids, and one took off and has been on the lam for 5 weeks. He's resorted to an ad in the local paper declaring 'free emu if you can capture it'. I don't know why, but this cracked me up. I'm picturing an emu running all over, and people chasing it. Which of course means I want to go to Vermont right now and try to catch it myself. Grandpa admits they 'don't make great pets.' I'm sure there's much more to this story. It's probably an emu love triangle, and the elusive emu, let's call him Elmo, knew when he wasn't wanted. Of course the other two, let's call them Eleanor and Ernest, were glad to see the back of him. I need a hobby.

Someone came up to me the other day and started ragging on me for a headline that had run over one of my columns. I listened patiently, then explained for the 4,000th time that I don't write my headlines. Sometimes I'm as surprised as you are at them. Sometimes it takes me a minute to realize it is even a piece I wrote, and I have been lassoed in with a headline like Family Found Living Under Rock, only to realize it is my family, and there is no rock. But headlines are supposed to be attention grabbers.

In the sports section of the Star today, I hesitated over the above- the- fold main headline: 'Spike in head injuries alarming'. Hmm. Who didn't say that out loud?

6 Comments:

Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I read the emu story this morning. It reminds me of the time I read the Tri-Ad classified (back when it actually had ads). There was a bungalow in Cornwall for rent with holes visible in the drywall from the owner's ill fated attempt to raise emus in his backyard ( and then his home) for emu meat.The orneriest, stupidest bird alive. That includes peacocks!

February 19, 2012 10:56 AM  
Anonymous Zena said...

But if someone captures the emu, it won't be free anymore.

The world often confuses me...

Kind of like the new word verification process: I think you actually have to be a robot to decipher them.

"first ploreat?" At least, I think that's what is says. Maybe I need to re-adjust my special infrared retinal sensors just to be sure.

February 19, 2012 2:42 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

Why do I get an image in my head of a bunch of people running around with a bib, fork and knife like Wyle Coyote chasing the Roadrunner.

DJW

February 19, 2012 4:05 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

And just think, DJ, all of them risking a spike in head injury...

February 19, 2012 4:06 PM  
Blogger caseracer said...

I wondered also about those spike-type head injuries. How does one treat a head spike?

February 20, 2012 7:22 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

...with a toe nail

February 20, 2012 8:27 PM  

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