February 11, 2012

The sounds of silence

For something entirely different, I am sitting here in a silent house. Ari is at robot camp and Christer is at work. Maggie is on my lap. The street is - finally - blanketed in snow. We had to move my computer onto the dining room table because stuff in toilet stacks was raining down. We are not going to discuss how that went. My contractor, seeing my horrified face, assured me that what I was seeing was mostly rust and soap and stuff. Stuff. The toilet stack hasn't been in use for 40 years, but I knew what I was really seeing.

I thought I wouldn't be able to work in the dining room. I've always worked in my little tucked away alcove in the kitchen, and as we all know, writing requires magic. And superstition. And all manner of OCD things. Instead, I am liking it. And so is Maggie. We can look out the window, though we've agreed the keyboard is a little awkward. I tried to put in on my lap, but Maggie said 'I'm sorry, but that is where I sit." So that was that.

I have that lovely Panamera Turbo S back in the driveway. I woke up to see it covered in snow, and Christopher had left for work. My garage is stacked to the top with crap, and I didn't know if I could find another snowbrush. Oh, that Porsche? It's parked behind a dumpster. It's really classing up the joint.

I texted Rick Bye, the Porsche fleet guy. I said 'is there a snowbrush in the car?'. He texted back, 'it hasn't snowed. How should I know?' Then he called me a name. I texted back and called him the same name, but twice. He texted back and said 'if you want, drive out here and I'll give you a snowbrush'. Then he called me a name. I texted back and said 'I'm fine, I found one in the garage.' So he texted me and said 'you need me to show you how to work it?' I texted back 'you actually believe I'm a real blonde?' I'll tell you what he says when he gets it. But I'm going to call him some more names. Edit: Mr. Bye answered my text. He said 'no, an 'automotive journalist''. In quotes like that. I think he's taking the mickey out of me for being both blonde, and a journo. I'm thinking up some new names.

In spite of the shambles that my home is in, with everything piled on everything else and all of it covered with a thickening layer of dust, I'm remembering how nice it is to hear nothing. I'm doing laundry, but that's about it. There are so many things to clean I don't know where to start. Steve, my construction dude, was pulling things out of a high cabinet they had to take down. As he handed down bottle after bottle, tin after tin, I carefully put items I hadn't seen in years into a box. "Wow. This is all cleaning stuff," he noted. "Vintage," he added. I smacked him.

I really shouldn't be just sitting here loving the silence. But I'm worried if I go to do errands and shopping, some knob will hit $180K worth of car in the No Frills parking lot. And to tell you the truth, that is one text I do not want to send Mr. Bye.


Blogger DJW said...

An enterprising person, at a loss for a snow brush, but with a garage full of yard tools, would find the leaf blower...


February 11, 2012 9:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had the other experience in a parking lot. Some lawyer in a Rover, backed into my (test drive) Camry, and when I asked him if he didn't see me, he said "I will see you in front of a judge".
Now about silence. It is quiet here right now. Cathy is on the treadmill, and I am playing on the computer and reading the paper, well, not both at the same time, cat isn't even meowing.. I don't like quiet. Whoops, talk about timing. Cathy is off the treadmill, and now cat is meowing. Talk about wonderful.

February 12, 2012 9:55 AM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

The Rover driving lawyer sounds like an ass hat.It is always quiet here. My days of chaos and babel-ism left after the last member of our single posse got hitched to someone fresh from the Polynesia-Asian brides catalog.I love being single. I love it every time I read about divorce cases.

February 12, 2012 10:53 AM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

Rick is used to it. Remember the (nameless) Globe journo whose son put a 911 into the garage?

February 12, 2012 11:14 AM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

I'm assuming the leaf blower comment was not referring to... I believe it was Kurt Browning?... who burned up his Porsche by trying to blow dry his wet Cabrio seats with a leaf blower, when he left the roof down? No... I'm thinking it was someone else. Oh well. My word is "shicksed" and I don't want to lose it. It makes me think of so many wonderful things to yell at pompous lawyers in Land Rovers.

I think that what I think a toilet stack is, is not correct. I know, that's brilliant grammer. But I am not in a thinking mood today. The magic is gone.

February 12, 2012 1:29 PM  
Anonymous jmd said...

I think "toilet stack" is a nice way of saying "big poop pipe".

February 12, 2012 4:35 PM  
Anonymous Padraig said...

So how much groceries could you stack in a Panamera trunk anyway? It probably wouldn't even open for anything less than Beluga caviar and pheasant under glass, and those tend to sell out early in the the weekend at NoFrills.

My word is 'boargess'which I think is like a cross between largesse and a boa-constrictor, which anyway is the largesse snake you can imagine.

February 12, 2012 4:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After reading Motherlode, I can't help but wonder what would be written if you let the basement dudes have a go on the blog.

The word is resshl. Maybe they are too busy having a resshl with the mouse....... in your house.

February 13, 2012 2:09 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Do not let "them" write your blog.

February 13, 2012 4:35 PM  
Blogger OmemeeOzzie said...

I seem to recall, many moons ago, that Roz did have an opportunity to 'guest blog' in this venue... whatever became of that notion?

February 13, 2012 4:52 PM  
Blogger DJW said...

I think Lorraine changed the password on her.


February 13, 2012 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gosh, I am just laughing at LS letting Roz, do the blog.. Maybe when LS doesn't have time, Roz can throw a few words out there for her. We might not realize who it is!!

February 13, 2012 8:13 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

It was indeed Kurt Browning.

I still love Land Rovers.

A toilet stack is indeed a 'big poop pipe'. Thank you, Jane.

I did a $200 shopping and got it in the Porsche. The Panamera is a sedan, and there is room. Think one big body, or two smallish ones. Or don't. Your choice.

Roz is free to take the reins any time. We god Jeff did it once and it was awesome.

February 13, 2012 10:59 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

That's 'Webgod Jeff' ...stupid autocorrect.

February 13, 2012 11:00 PM  
Anonymous Roz said...

Thank you, thank you very much but I prefer to snipe from the sidelines - sometimes anonymously (yeah, right). I think We God Jeff may like that name - it sounds so, holy and revered. snigger.

February 14, 2012 10:47 AM  

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