March 4, 2012

My brain runneth over

Because Tim Dowling is brave enough to admit he's not an alpha male, I'll link his post today. Why do I like him? Because he says things like "[I'm] someone who calls himself a house-husband because it sounds better than agoraphobic."

He also goes on about how after a radio show, on the ride home, he thought up all the things he should have said. The other night, I sat bolt upright in bed (Maggie was dismayed; bolting musses with her snuggling up to my arse) and realized why people become writers: it's because we want a chance to say all things we weren't witty or sharp or smart enough to say at the time. We simply want the chance to revise every conversation we've had and have the perfect comeback.

Sometimes you need several characters in order to do this, hence books with several characters. Have you ever read a novel and said to yourself, "Self, every character in this book is speaking the same way. Whether they're a ten- year -old boy or a 82- year- old woman, a cowboy or an accountant (though as you know, I've read far more tales about cowboys than accountants) and realized the dialogue is all the same? This is proof the author is simply revising his past conversations to witty them up. He is merely sprinkling his better answers around amongst the characters he has invented. Personally speaking, I do not like this. If I read a book and all your characters sound the same, I will not read any more of your books. I know the impact of that statement: I do not hear any presses grinding to a halt.

On another tangent (what? When have I ever stopped at one?), Ari is on his way home from Tennessee and the Robotics Championship. They came in 2nd out of 54 teams, which is awesome. But he just texted me a pic of a medallion that says 'first' on it. I have no idea if they actually came in first, or if he beat up the first place team and stole the medallion. Or had the robot do it.

I was watching some of those American political talking head shows this morning. I'm wondering why any of the Republican strategists can't just come right out and say "I saw my shadow, I'm going back in my hole until this whole thing blows over. I thought Sarah Palin was bad; I'd give my left arm for Sarah right about now. Next to this field of shellacked-out, whacked-out, twist and shout unprincipled nutbars, she's looking pretty good."

I must admit, I think it is stunning - stunning, I tell you - that with the economy doing what's it's doing, unemployment where it is, people homeless and records numbers of the population on foodstamps, the primary focus of American politics is the birth control pill. Wow. I've got news for some of these ridiculous men: the only thing worse than finding out your sexually active daughter is on the pill is finding out she isn't.

Moving right along...I've been trying to sort of clean on weekends even though my living room is unnavigable due to it being the central holding area for Operation Bathroom. There is dust everywhere, but I made a pretty concerted effort yesterday and got the kitchen and hallways cleaned up. I thought it looked rather amazing. A friend walked in and said 'Wow, this place is unreal. The mess must really be getting to you by now." The word amazing can cut both ways, it seems.

Christopher is visiting friends in Ohio. I have received a single text from him ("I made it over the border!"), then nothing. Border crossing had been a worry because his passport expired in the summer. I told him to renew it 3 weeks ago, so he didn't. He was heading over with a birth certificate and a driver's licence and a prayer. As his nerves mounted, he was asking what he should tell them. I suggested the truth, as these people are trained to notice people lying. Especially ones who are sweating and making it up as they go along, then backtracking and changing the answer. This is how Christopher lies. If he can't lie to his mother, he can't lie to a border guard. I also reminded him that a big kid in a USC hoodie who looks like he stepped off the Leave it to Beaver set driving his mother's Santa Fe is probably not going to set off many alarms.

I should either go work out or do some writing.

Sounds like a great time for a nap.



Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I'm undoubtably Fee male. I charge everybody. I only see one color, red. If you move, you're IT.

March 04, 2012 2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FIRST - For Inspiration and Recognition of Science & Technology. He didn't steal anything, they won 2nd but FIRST is the name of the competition! LOL

why are you cleaning why you could be out driving those amazing cars you say are sitting in your driveway!

My house is covered in dust as well from construction. I have decided to live with it because there is more drywall sanding to come and I hate to waste my time dusting when it is all going to be covered again in another day or two.

March 04, 2012 3:24 PM  
Anonymous B1 said...

Read Dowling's latest this morning. Pretty good. Tnx again for pointing him out a few weeks ago. Us Tau males should stick together.

March 04, 2012 5:23 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Congratulations to Ari and the rest of Team "Finally I Respect Someone's Talent" (FIRST). That is a phenomenal result! You must post a picture of the FIRST robot.

Our Tornado Alley friends in Atlanta are staunch Republicans, and yet by all outward appearances are reasonably intelligent people. I have never been able to make those two statements work in my head. Not these days anyway. But there they sit. Their children, of course, think the Republican party was dreamed up by Alice when she was in Wonderland. And long before the LSD had worn off.

March 04, 2012 9:28 PM  
Anonymous Padraig said...

Abraham Lincoln was a Republican; it seems to have gone downhill from there.

March 05, 2012 5:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After reading a few of his columns, I think you are the female version of Tim Dowling, in a good way. Except for the teeth - Brits always seem to have bad teeth, no matter what their sociooeconomic status.

March 06, 2012 2:58 PM  

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