May 18, 2012

Doing the long weekend traffic tango. Literally.

I just got in from dumping Ari at Wasaga Beach. For the uninitiated, or for out- of- towners, Wasaga is a couple hours north of here, a beach community that hibernates all winter then springs to life on the Victoria Day weekend. It is a series of motels and cottages and cabins, snaking through a quaint little town that has grown along with the crowds. There are restaurants and surf shops and souvenir stands; there's a Dairy Queen, an LCBO and a Beer Store and a billion cops. The cops are looking to bust the underagers; the underagers are there to be...underagers.

My kid's graduating class has taken over a bunch of cabins at a resort. I did not know where they were staying, but I said I'd get them there (I am terrified of teens driving in holiday traffic; rightfully so, as I'll relay in a moment), and of course, I made 3 dozen burgers last night, and laid in 200 bucks worth of groceries. I don't know where I got this Mama gene. Sigh. There are 6 boys in Ari's cabin. As if it will stay that way....

As we drove through town, we passed through the really nice areas. Then the pretty nice areas. Then the nice areas. Then the not-so-nice areas. Then the areas where you raise an eyebrow. Then we got to where they'd be staying. I'd been worrying about the cost if they demo'd the place. Not to worry - who'd notice?

I shuddered, but as all the kids met up, they were vibrating with excitement. Prom was last night; half of them were still hungover, and all of them are exhausted. I did my duty: 4 boys tumbled out of the car, unloaded all their crap, bags of food ("wow! look at all this stuff!" and ran to the beach. Then they ran back, and we went to buy a Frisbee. I left them there with nary a backward glance.

On the way up, someone had to pee, so we stopped. Not five minutes later, there was a stupid tandem gravel truck jackknifed across the median. I hate tandem trucks; I wish they weren't legal. We were about 50 car lengths behind, not kidding. Nobody seemed hurt, but traffic was totally stopped in the opposite direction for several hours, and as we scooted around (only one cop had arrived at that point), we heard on the news that there was only one lane open our way within ten minutes. Cars and trucks were apparently driving ACROSS FIELDS. So, Pee Boy spent the rest of the trip telling us he had a magic bladder, and we were very welcome.

Oh, I'd checked my tango story out on line this morning. The big event is tomorrow. I finally got hold of a hard copy. Oh my god. Front cover of the section, me in all my red sequin ruffly glory. And video. I nearly died. Terrific placement and editing and coverage, the Hamilton Spectator really did a great job for this event. But, oh my god.

Bet Ari is really sorry he's missing this tomorrow night.

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Anonymous Zena said...

I think 'someone' has been pulling our legs...For someone who, cough, claims they've never danced before, I'd say you've got pretty good rhythm and footwork.

All you need is the rose between your teeth...

Sounds like an awesome event - really wish we could be there.

May 18, 2012 7:12 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

I was at Wasaga Beach last summer, Beach #5, the Mermaid Motel. Beautiful weather and that roaring tide. It made an impression on me. Doesn't the ferris wheel on Beach 1 at night remind you of the opening credits for Lost Boys? I swore I could hear Cry Little Sister rattling in the background.

May 18, 2012 11:53 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Oh, I just read the article and watched the video. I hope it goes well tomorrow night. You look marvelous and I'm sure the benefit will be a smash. Show them how its done, Snake Hips. Now isn't that better than Old Swivel Hips?

May 18, 2012 11:58 PM  
Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Hey look at you go!! Very impressive. And all frilly. Such a different look than we're used to. Heading out of town tonight so I'm going to miss the big event.

Congratulations. You're doing a great thing for a great cause. All the while looking great in your great new physique.


Good luck. Enjoy yourself.

May 19, 2012 8:20 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

I've arrived at the conclusion there is probably nothing good you can call a woman's hips. Other than 'boyish'.

Had a dress rehearsal last night, so first time with an audience. Just a little frightening. I think tonight I'll just take my contacts out, and then, even Mentor's face will be blurry.

Arlene (friend) and Gilly (sister) and Katya (my niece) are coming. Roz has mysteriously found herself otherwise engaged.

It'll be fun. They've promised me so much makeup and hair stuff that nobody will recognize me.

May 19, 2012 9:21 AM  
Blogger DJW said...


...did you bring the house down?

May 20, 2012 9:52 AM  

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