May 20, 2012

For everyone playing along at home...

...nope. No trophy....

Last night's Tango Sensation (TM) was a blast. I'd reported that the portion of the night featuring the 'celebrity' dancing would be voted on by judges, audience and kids. I got there and couldn't see any kids. I thought maybe the kids would be brought in later. Then it got pretty late and I realized there were no kids. I was kinda looking forward to the kids.

Not to worry; we were still going to raise money for the kids. Connie Smith was dancing too; if you're from the area you know Connie - she was a CHCH news anchor for decades, and last year received the Order of Canada. She's really sweet, and kind. Lovely lady, who has already done a ton of great things for a ton of great charities. She's also done this event before, so I cornered her and asked for pointers. She just laughed, and told me to have fun.

The other guy dancing I didn't know, a radio guy.

While I was quite certain I could have won Most Makeup (I'll try to get a pic up; Ari isn't here, might take me awhile), when they announced that in fact, it would only be an audience vote, I realized Connie was a lock. Dazzling non-existent judges with my intricate footwork wasn't gonna be a factor.

Mentor and I went first. You want nerve wracking? Walk down from a centre stage on a red carpet onto a dance floor. Just the two of you. Wear a dress that could be on top of an ambulance. And then the music starts. It's only two minutes. You know these steps. But there are people right there. I made a bunch of mistakes, but Mentor kind of smothers them - it's awesome. We got through it, though apparently I has a wee wardrobe malfunction.

Arlene came (of course) and my sister Gilly and my niece Katya. I went to talk to them a little later, and Gilly said she'd been emailing Roz. Roz asked if I had any panties on. She'd watched the webcast. There is a part where Mentor lifts me and spins me around, then I do a split thingee before he sets me back down. Apparently, my dress got pulled up a leeeeetle bit too high - not hard to do since it's already split up to my hip. The combination gave flashy a whole new meaning.

I told Gilly to text Roz that the dress is all built in together; you can't show anything, it's all sewn together. It's just the illusion of ohmygod, not the actual thing. Gilly pondered this, and asked why I hadn't bedazzled my website address across my crotch.

See? We are sisters.

Connie did a fun cabaret number with a boa and everything. I decided I'd like a boa, though that would be like putting a boa on a Christmas tree, I reasoned. Connie had great audience involvement, the kind where they clap along. Not the kind where you flash them.

The guy, Greg Ross, had a beautiful dance partner. Really pretty girl. He kind of did nothing, but he walked around and she spun about. He told me later he hadn't practiced at all, and just before the dance, she told him to just go where she pushed him. He didn't even have any makeup on. How can you do a dance competition and not have makeup on?

With no judges involved anymore, and no schoolkids there, the audience bought ballots throughout the next couple of hours to vote. I hope they raised a bunch of money. The dancing all night was really beautiful and fun, and I think kids would get a kick out of it. The Junior North American Salsa champs were there, a brother and sister who were (I think) about 10 and 12. They were spectacular. I wish the kids could have seen them.

Anyway, they announced the winner, and the guy with the wooden leg won. I mean the radio guy. I was surprised - I thought Connie would walk away with it. Guess our respective crews didn't buy enough votes...

It was a really great evening. I'm met some really wonderful people, and I still have a heating pad on my back. Would I do this again? In a heartbeat.

But I'd still like the kids to have a vote.


Blogger Chris Brown (not the felon) said...

Did you pay someone to snap that picture at that exact moment? Is that wardrobe malfunction #2? I think Gillian had the right idea. "For even more excitement go to" in florescent orange on the... ahem... front would have been worth it's weight in, um, oranges.

Your are a trooper. Congratulations!!!

May 20, 2012 11:57 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

My niece Kat took the pic. Most of them were blurry, because I was such a whirlwind of tango motion. Or something like that.

That wasn't a malfunction. It was when my legs were flashing the whole world while in the air.

I had a blast=)

May 20, 2012 12:00 PM  
Anonymous PJ said...

Obviously the audience had no taste if pegleg won. I would have voted for you just for having flashed the audience....

My words Rouctsi vitarga.... Russian male enhancement pills?

May 20, 2012 12:15 PM  
Anonymous buzzwhack said...

Lovely picture of Lorraine in a dead faint whence she realized her entire swivel hip was showing.
Glad to see you had fun, you certainly deserve it!

Note; just saw my next door neighbor unloading boxes of fireworks from his car along with cases of beer. One of the boxes of fireworks said "the pants ripper"...shows a kid with cap on backwards and smoke coming out of his shorts, I am in fear of my life for tonight!

May 20, 2012 2:22 PM  
Blogger DJW said... least she didn't fall and break a hip!

er, I meant...good job!

DJW (ducking)

May 20, 2012 10:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read your piece in the Spec and I just wanted to congratulate
you for the courage to do this. Many of us over 40's (50's?) etc.,
think about doing things like this, but very few actually
do it. So Kudos to you Lorraine.
Another soul in Hamilton is proud
of you for the hard work to get
up to speed and the courage to
actually DO IT!!


May 22, 2012 1:29 PM  
Blogger Greg Ross said...

I am the guy with the wooden leg. (Greg Ross)

Just a few quick comments.

First, I admit I am not a good dancer, but I was kidding when I said we had never practiced.

Secondly, I don't work in Radio I work in television.

Finally, I sense some sour grapes. LOL


May 22, 2012 2:03 PM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Aw, Greg. Sorry for the miscue on the radio/television. None of us were introduced with anything but our names, which made it more difficult.

And, be honest. You made a point of saying you were doing whatever your partner told you to do. I believed you. Why wouldn't I?

And like you, I thought Connie was gonna walk away with it.

I still want to find out how much raised for the program. It was a good night1

May 22, 2012 2:20 PM  
Blogger Greg Ross said...

Hey Lorraine,

Your right it was a good night, I really enjoyed it.

I also enjoyed meeting you.

I apologize if there was any misunderstanding regarding my commitment to this. When I said I hadn't practiced, you asked if I was serious and I said No. You laughed, so I though we were on the same page.

My "wooden legs" were not from a lack of practice, I am just a really bad dancer. If you think I was bad the other night, you should have seen me 8 weeks ago.


May 22, 2012 4:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

First of all where do all of you people find the time to waste being unkind to others. I think all of you should get applause for volunteering to do this in the first place. And instead of beating each other up maybe congratulate one another on hanging in and doing all the training. It was all for charity by the way. What is this beat up the only guy who stepped forward to be part of this - he should have won just for having the balls to do it! Congrats on your win Greg. Lorraine time to give it up.

May 22, 2012 5:09 PM  
Anonymous Zena said...

Wow, Anonymous.

You don't mean to tell us you haven't caught even the tiniest whiff of 'tongue in cheek' in all the bantering here?

From an observer's perspective, it's all in good fun. No-one's intentionally stepping on anyone's toes...

So many of the world's problems would evapourate if we'd all just learn not to take ourselves so seriously all the time.

May 23, 2012 12:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


I have to say, you were very disrespectful to Greg Ross in your blog. They guy was taking part in a charity event, there was not need to be that way.

Greg has been working on TV for many years. If anybody worked on Radio, I would have thought is was you because you have the face for it!!!

May 23, 2012 9:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lorraine, you and Greg should have a dance-off to settle this.

May 23, 2012 9:55 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Oh, for crying out loud!

1. The organizer told me the third dancer was a 'radio guy'. That's all I was told.
2. I still believe Greg has thicker skin than some of you are giving him credit for. We were yakking at the event, and from the tone of the friendly trash talk, I believed he could get as good as he could give.
3. We are all terrible dancers. That's *almost* the point. It was never about us.
4. And actually, I am so horrid, I can't even work radio. I must work hidden away in my kitchen.
5. I don't change blogs, and I don't pull comments. If anyone still wants to pile on, have at it. But I shall be moving on.

May 23, 2012 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats to all the competition participants and to the winner, Greg Ross. It's a great thing when people come together to help out a cause.
If Greg's "wooden legs" didn't win over the audience, then it MUST have been his super hot dance partner.
Can't wait to see it when it airs on Cable 14 :)

May 23, 2012 11:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think you guys need a dance-off to settle the score. My money is on Greg!

May 23, 2012 11:18 AM  
Blogger Lorraine said...

Or, we could dance with each other;)

May 23, 2012 11:26 AM  
Anonymous jmd said...

Just a note to Anonymous re your "radio face" comment. The anonymity of the internet makes people brave. Unfortunately, being brave does not make them smart.

May 23, 2012 12:22 PM  
Anonymous Zena said...

Hey Lorraine - you've been hacked by Anonymous!

And here I thought they only went after the big guns. Well, at least you know you've 'arrived' when...

May 23, 2012 2:34 PM  
Blogger Nursedude said...

I think you would have won if only you'd had a rose between your teeth for the grand finale.

May 23, 2012 3:10 PM  

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